Take 25
by Artemis Day
Summary: MCU Bingo Fills. Loki/Jane, Bucky/Jane, Bucky/Jane/Steve, Steve/Jane, and Loki/Jane/Bucky. Have I ever mentioned I really love Jane?
1. Shall We Dance- Lokane

**A/N: This'll be the first of my mcubingo fills. Because I'm ambitious (read: stupid) I'm going to attempt a full blackout. So here we go with number one!**

* * *

 **01: Dancing (Loki/Jane)**

 _Jane wasn't looking for a dance partner. Then one found her._

"May I have this dance?"

There were a lot of ways Jane could've imagined seeing Loki again. This wasn't one of them.

That he'd faked his death (again) was not news to her. Thor had messaged her from his hijacked spaceship full of displaced refugees that Asgard was gone and Loki was back. A nice sentiment considering they'd only just broken up.

That he'd then died for real, only to come back to life along with half the universe thanks to some vaguely explained timey wimey BS (Darcy's words not hers), was a bit more of a shock. But even knowing Loki was alive and freely roaming the earth, she never thought their paths would cross again. Surely, he'd have better things to do than seek out one of his brother's exes, of which she assumed there were many (not a crack against Thor just an observation given his age).

Yet here they were, at Tony Stark's wedding of all places. Jane had donned a respectable green dress for the occasion- which coincidentally matched the accents of Loki's suit perfectly- and a marginally comfortable pair of pumps. Somewhere on the dance floor was Darcy, leading Ian in their fifth dance of the night, because that girl was incorrigible and poor Ian didn't have a proper 'no' threshold. They weren't likely to be back any time soon. Jane would have to face the music alone.

"Seriously?"

Loki's smile, which definitely did not make her toes curl, widened. "You haven't had a partner all night. It's wrong for such a beautiful woman to be ignored."

"Maybe I just don't want to dance," Jane countered, which was kind of true. She hadn't come here looking for a date, but watching Tony and Pepper have their first dance as man and wife, followed by twenty more couples joining in for the next song, she was increasingly aware of the cold, empty spot at the table next to her.

"If that's the case," he intoned, "tell me you don't want me, and perhaps I'll leave."

"Okay, I don't want you," she said, which was definitely true. "Now leave."

"I don't feel like it."

"You said you would."

"I said _perhaps_ I would." Then he sat down. Right in that cold, empty spot, which was now full of his presence. "I've decided I'd rather not."

It wouldn't occur to Jane until sometime later that she could've just gotten up and sat somewhere else. By then, she'd be glad she didn't, but for now, Loki was about as welcome in her life as a swarm of mosquitos. In an attempt to dissuade him from further conversation, she turned her attention to the dance floor. There was Darcy, spinning a green-faced Ian. Vision and Wanda, wrapped in each other's arms, floated an inch off the ground and seemed to be hugging more than dancing. Contrastly, Peter Quill and Gamora had decided a disco routine was perfect for an adult contemporary love song. Bruce was leading a slightly unsteady Valkryie, and after five straight minutes of Peter Parker stammering compliments at her, Shuri finally realized he was asking her to dance and they were now on their second number.

"Are you not jealous of their happiness?" Loki asked.

Jane feigned a look of boredom. "Oh, you're still here? Thought you left ages ago."

"Only if you'll go with me." _Damn_ that grin.

"Why would you want to dance with me in the first place? You know I dated your brother, right?"

"Indeed you did, and are no longer. Unless you were hoping for a reconciliation."

Jane glanced at the mile-long refreshment table, where Thor had spent the last twenty minutes trading stories with Steve Rogers and King T'Challa. He hadn't spoken to her all night and might not even know she was there. Once upon a time, she would've ached with a need for his acknowledgment. Now, she just eyed a tray of shrimp cocktails and reminded herself to grab one later.

"Tonight, I'm just hoping for something to eat," she said. His eyes sparkled mischievously as she pointed at him. "Do not make an innuendo."

"I wasn't going to."

"Yes, you were."

Loki hummed, one long finger stroking his chin. "You know me too well, my dear. Shall we have that dance now?"

Jane closed her eyes and wondered what the hell ever happened in her life to lead her to this. "I'm not getting rid of you until I give in, am I?"

"You said it, not me."

He offered her a hand. Common sense dictated that she should not even think about thinking about letting Loki lead her anywhere, even if it was just a dance. Fortunately, Jane was never known for being sensible. That was how she won the Nobel prize.

"I hope you know all the steps," she said as they arrived on the dance floor in time for a smooth R&B song to start up. "Because… I honestly don't."

Loki quirked an eyebrow. "Not much a dancer I presume?"

"I think the last time might have been my senior prom."

"And here I thought you were just being coy." He pulled her close, much closer than necessary. Jane would've pulled away except his arms were like metal cords, and _God_ he smelled good… "No matter. I'm always happy to take the lead."

"Okay, that was definitely an innuendo."

"Only if you want it to be," he whispered huskily in her ear.

And Jane couldn't say she didn't.


	2. Cram Sessions- BuckyJane

**02: Study/Project Partners- Bucky/Jane**

 _College AU: When straight-A student Jane and star athlete Bucky study together, things can get a bit weird._

"Here's what I don't get." Bucky ducked his opponent's wild right hook and punched him three times in quick succession, knocking him off his feet. "Dr. Jekyll talks about getting rid of the evil part of mankind so that the good part can't be tempted by it, so why doesn't he find a way to do that once he realizes Hyde is out of control?"

"It's pretty simple: he's a hypocrite," Jane said while jotting down a few more notes. "He enjoys the freedom Hyde gives him and by the time he realizes Hyde is taking over, he's too addicted to stop. Think of it as one big drug allegory."

"Is that what you're writing your paper on?"

"It's not too obvious, is it?"

Bucky shrugged. "Works for me. Professor Lee's an easy grader anyway. You'll probably get an A no matter what you do."

"Doesn't mean I can't put in the effort."

Jane took out her text and flipped to one of the many marked pages. It was a good thing she'd opted to buy her books this semester instead of renting them, what with her compulsion to write on any blank spot of paper she could find. As she worked, Bucky took his canteen between his gloved hands and drank it down. He turned to find his opponent leaving the ring, removing his boxing gloves as he went.

"Hey! We're not done here." Bucky called after him.

"I'm tapping out," his opponent shouted. Jane had yet to learn his name, and she had a feeling she never would.

"Fucking wimp," Bucky grumbled, smacking his fists together. "This is why I miss Steve. He'd fight me all night long and never break a sweat. Dude was made of iron."

"Don't worry. He's probably out there destroying his school's boxing team as we speak," Jane said.

"He'd better be." Bucky bounced around the ring, practicing his stance now that he had nothing left to hit. "What about all the Freudian stuff? Think that would be a good essay topic?"

"I'm pretty sure it's been done to death," Jane said, her gaze alternating between her book and Bucky's glistening torso.

"Which means there'll be a ton of research material." He pumped a fist. "Awesome! You're the best study partner ever, Jane."

"Thank you, I do try."

By then, night had fallen. The gym would close in twenty minutes. Bucky climbed out of the ring where Jane helped him remove his gloves. His hands were not taped up as they would've been for a real fight and she marveled at the size of them; how well both of her hands would fit in just one of his. She let go before her thoughts went any further into the gutter. Bad enough the kind of fantasies she had when she was alone.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said. "You up for drinks after?"

"As long as by drinks you mean 'soda'," she laughed. "Sorry, I'm a total lightweight."

"Works for me. I can't go getting drunk before a match anyway." He marched towards the locker room while rubbing the kinks out of his shoulders. "I show up hungover, my reaction time goes to shit, I lose, and then everyone hates me."

"I wouldn't hate you," Jane said.

"And that's I know you're not a sports fan."

He disappeared from sight, and moments later, Jane heard the distant sound of water droplets hitting porcelain. That he was literally bathing ten feet away from her had not escaped her notice. To keep herself occupied and hopefully do away with those pesky teenage hormones (here she thought they'd go away when she turned twenty), Jane thumbed through her class syllabus, searching for the next book they'd be reading.

"Ethan Frome," Jane said, shuddering as the traumatic memories of her high school English classes crept forth. "He's going to hate that."

Oh well. They'd just need to have a lot more study sessions.


	3. Extra Security- BuckyJaneSteve

**03: Enemies (Bucky/Jane/Steve)**

 _It's not like Jane didn't realize her research might attract the wrong people, but this was getting scary._

Jane was attacked backstage before giving her speech at the International Scientific Summit. The assailant did not have a gun, which was a pleasant surprise, but the near hits he got with his knife before security tackled him sent the message loud and clear. There was a big, red target painted on her back, and certain people who didn't want Jane's research to get out would do anything to hit a bullseye.

That was how she found herself sandwiched between a pair of super soldiers on her way to the Annual Astrophysics Conference at Yale.

"We're going to be backstage while you're speaking, and we'll have eyes and ears all around the auditorium," Steve said. "Nobody's getting in without being thoroughly vetted."

"Don't you think that's a little extreme?" Jane asked. The last time she was under security this tight, she'd had an ancient mystical power slithering through her veins.

"Extreme would be keeping sniper rifles trained on anyone who looks suspicious," said Bucky as he loaded one of the many weapons hidden on his person. "The college wouldn't let us set up nests, though."

Jane chuckled. "As if you guys actually would've done something like that… you wouldn't have, right?"

The two men remained completely silent.

They arrived at the campus with just enough time for Jane to go over her notes and for Steve to brief her one more time about their emergency exit strategy.

"Once we've confirmed the threat has passed, we'll leave out the south entrance." If he had the entire layout of the building memorized, Jane wouldn't be surprised. "Now while you're on stage Buck will be-"

"Bucky's covering my left, you've got my right. Twenty guys in the audience. Two cars parked out front. Fifteen more guys at the back gate and north entrances. I got it, Steve."

"Yeah, Steve," Bucky said, punching his partner's arm. "Don't be such a mom. Last I checked, that was my job."

Steve punched him back, but their friendly ribbing had to be cut short as the head of the science department arrived to formally greet Jane. After introductions had been made, Jane joined her colleagues on the panel before a growing crowd of students. The conference was set to start at four and go on until six. Cocktails and dinner would be provided afterward for the speakers. Whether or not Jane stayed for that part depended on how paranoid Steve and Bucky were when the Q&A ended.

"Welcome everyone to today's conference," the moderator said at 4:02 on the dot. "Thank you all for coming, and please join me in welcoming our very special guest, Dr. Jane Foster."

This was met with a roar of applause. Jane waved politely, her tight-lipped smile masking the crippling anxiety just barely seeping through the cracks. Five years ago, she was nothing but a quack and the butt of every other astrophysicists' jokes. Now she was a leading authority in her field, respected and admired by all. Sometimes, it didn't feel real. Like any moment now, the other shoe would drop.

Or perhaps a banner would drop. The banner just over her head specifically. It came crashing to earth amid a symphony of gunshots coming from all directions. Jane ducked under the table, reaching into her bag as the rest of the speakers huddled in terror beside her. As far as she could tell, none of them were injured. She checked herself and found no blood. The shooters were either stupid or not aiming at her.

Two men dressed in Yale sweaters flew across the stage, thrown by an incensed Bucky Barnes. They struggled to find their weapons but were too slow to avoid Bucky's expert shooting skills. On Jane's right, Steve slammed his shield into the face of the moderator, who seconds before had whipped a semi-automatic pistol out from behind the curtains and aimed at the table.

"I knew there was something off about that guy," one of the other speakers whispered. "Who pairs plaid socks with a striped tie?"

While Steve, Bucky, and the rest of their men were distracted, one large fellow bounded towards the stage. He leaped over the podium and turned the table over, much to the horror of Jane and her peers. They screamed and clung to each other for dear life. With greater reflexes than she knew she had, Jane whipped out a gun-shaped object and fired at the man. From her vantage point, she couldn't aim for his chest like she would've otherwise. The pin caught something much lower instead.

Every man in the room and a few of the women winced sympathetically as the man went down, fifty thousands volts of electricity coursed through his groin. Jane released the trigger just as Bucky finished up with the last of the assassins.

"Lucky she got to you before I did," he growled at the man, kicking him in the ribs. "Trust me. That was a mercy."

"Okay, Bucky, we all know how badass you are," Jane said. "Please just put him with the rest."

The living assassins, all two of them, were transferred into police custody to be held until further notice. Interrogations would have to be conducted to find out who they were working for and how they smuggled their weapons in, but for now, Jane's knights in shining armor led her off campus, as far as their nondescript rental car would allow.

"Where'd you even get that thing?" Bucky asked as Jane stored her taser back in her bag.

Jane shrugged. "Darcy thought I should have one. After the last time and all."

"Remind me to thank Darcy later," Steve said from the front seat. "You okay back there, doll?"

"I will be once the adrenaline wears off. And after I get something to eat." Jane rubbed her stomach. "All that fighting for my life sure makes me hungry."

"I told you we weren't being extreme," Bucky muttered, grinning innocently when Jane shot him a glare.

"How does McDonald's sound? I could go for a Big Mac," said Steve.

"Works for me," Jane said. "As long as Bucky doesn't steal all my fries this time."

"I make no promises."


	4. Into The Fire- SteveJane

**04: Cuddling- Steve/Jane**

 _Sometimes, you just need to know someone's there for you._

"Steve! What are you doing? Get out of there!"

Tony's tinny voice over the half-melted microphone was like a blade running straight through Steve's skull. He darted around fallen chunks of plaster, his feet burning as the heat slowly oozed through his boots. Every inch of him was pain, as it had never been since the day he received the serum. His enhanced body could withstand far greater temperatures than that of a normal human, but that didn't make running through a burning building any easier.

He gritted his teeth hard enough to break as he ripped a metal door off its hinges. His muscles screamed not so much from the effort, but against the exhaustion coursing through him. Clouding his mind. He couldn't let it. Not until he found her.

"Sam," he groaned, kicking aside an upturned lab table. "Where am I?"

"Almost there, Steve, but you don't have much time." There was massive wind resistance in the background. Falcon was in flight. "Sensors indicate Jane is somewhere in that room, but she doesn't have long. Hurry."

Steve charged into the ruined lab, digging through rubble like a man possessed. He listened for a whimper or a call of his name, anything to indicate she was alive. As he turned over one chunk of ceiling, he caught a hint of plaid sticking out from under a wool blanket. His heart leaped as he gathered Jane in his arms. The blanket slipped off her face. Her eyes were closed and her skin was pale, but she groaned in pain as Steve lifted her.

"It's okay, Janie, I got you," he said, though he doubted she could hear him through the smoke mask.

A crash shook the building and he turned to find a huge chunk of roof blocking their only exit. Trying to move it would take too much time that Jane didn't have. Every second he wasted thinking, she was breathing in smoke. Steve frantically scanned the area. No other doors and one open window. He looked down at Jane. Her head lolled to one side. He looked back at the window. There were seven stories between them and the ground.

 _'No choice,'_ he told himself.

He took a running start and leaped out the window, turning over in mid-air to take the brunt of the fall. He'd once survived jumping from a height twice as high, only because he had his shield to absorb the impact. Without it, he didn't think even the serum could save his spine, but at least Jane would be okay.

They picked up speed as the pavement closed in. Steve watched the sky grow distant. It might be the last thing he ever saw. Then the fall stopped. Metal arms wrapped around him, careful not to jostle Jane, and soon they were soaring safely towards a team of ambulances. Before Steve's eyes were no longer the beckoning hand of death, but the perpetually stern face of an Ironman helmet.

"You are a complete moron," Tony said, though whether it was his body in the suit or just his voice wasn't clear. "You know that, right?"

"So I've been told," Steve grinned, pushing his mask to the side.

He kept a tight hold on Jane even after they landed and the paramedics descended. They got her immediately on oxygen. The blanket appeared to have protected her enough that Steve couldn't see any major burns, but she'd have to see a doctor first to confirm it. He remained by her side in the ambulance, holding her hand like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.

"Steve," she moaned, her eyes fluttering.

"I'm here, Jane. You're okay now." He brushed his lips over her knuckles.

"Steve… my lab… _my lab_ …"

Tears rolled down her cheeks, and horrible as it was, Steve had to laugh. "Priorities doll. Let's get you fixed up first."


	5. Neighbors- LokiJaneBucky

**05: Supernatural Creatures- Loki/Jane/Bucky**

 _Monster AU: Bucky, an Alpha werewolf, knows there's something funny about the way that vampire couple next door looks at him._

When the townhouse next to Bucky's was sold, he didn't think much of it. As long as they weren't another family of pixies constantly stealing his lawn mower (which was clearly only done to annoy him because they knew damn well the grass was self-cutting), it could be a bunch of human-sized slug people for all he cared. Good neighbors came in many forms, just like bad neighbors did.

He was on his front porch, unable to sleep when the moving truck pulled in. Goblins scurried out of the cabin, giggling to themselves about their latest haul as if it was theirs to keep. Bucky almost didn't recognize them in the dark of the new moon, nor the sleek black Jaguar that parked in the driveway as they worked. Two figures stepped out and seemed to glide across the walkway. Bucky focused on them, growling softly as his eyes shifted from human to lupine.

There were a man and a woman. The man was tall and slender, dressed in a finely tailored suit which contrasted sharply with his pale white skin. His hair was black and worn long, even longer than Buckys. He spoke quietly to the woman as the goblins ran in and out of the house with their belongings. She was more casually dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt, and the top of her brown head barely reached the man's chest. Nevertheless, when they both suddenly turned to look at him, three important things were immediately clear to Bucky.

First, they had blood red eyes and pearly white fangs. Vampires. That explained the late move in.

Second, they were both abnormally hot. Forget that Twilight shit, _this_ is what sexy vampires looked like.

Third, they knew he was watching them.

Clearing his throat, Bucky waved at the couple, a much too wide grin on his face. "Hey there! Welcome to the neighborhood. I'll just…"

He backed inside, shaking his head at his own stupidity. _'Way to make a good first impression, dumbass.'_

As the werewolf disappeared from sight, Jane Foster-Odinson ran her tongue along her lips. The sweet scent of the delectable man's blood lingered in the air and oh, how good it tasted.

"What are you thinking, dearest?" her husband asked, pulling her into his tight embrace.

"I want him," Jane purred. She hadn't wanted anything this much since NASA unveiled their plans for a new Hubble telescope.

Loki nibbled on her earlobe. "Then, my love, we shall have him."

* * *

The next day, Bucky left his house before noon to go on a leisurely run through the forest. He had foregone everything except his pants. Not like he'd need clothes as a wolf. In the yard next door was the vampire woman, resting under the shade of an apple tree with a book in her lap.

"Morning," she called to him, stopping him in his tracks.

"Huh?" He said stupidly. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting to see you out here."

She giggled. Her fangs were on full display. "It's okay. My husband and I are purebloods. We can go out during the day as much as we like. As long as we wear sunblock of course."

Which explained the distinct odor in the air. "Oh yeah… okay." Bucky ran his hands down his shirt, except he wasn't wearing one. Her eyes trailed shamelessly over his muscular torso.

"I'm Jane, by the way," she said, her voice slightly deeper. "My husband is Loki. You'll probably see him later tonight."

"Bucky Barnes," Bucky said. "It's nice to meet you. Hope we become good friends."

He left for his run after saying goodbye. Changing into his wolf form, he sprinted through the trees, lost in the power and freedom the transformation brought. Somewhere in the distance, he thought he heard Jane's voice.

"We'll be great friends…"

* * *

At midnight, someone knocked on Bucky's door. He'd just gotten home from a meeting with his pack, where one upstart beta decided he didn't like being ordered around anymore and issued a challenge. Though the fight had lasted barely a minute, the idiot did manage to land one good swipe and Bucky would be feeling that for the rest of the night.

He was applying antiseptic when the doorbell rang. Fully expecting Steve or Nat come to check on him, Bucky opened the door to find two pairs of red eyes staring at him.

"Evening, Mr. Barnes," said Loki, his perpetual grin faltering slightly at Bucky's pained expression. "Did we come at a bad time?"

"Nah, it's fine," Bucky said, moving aside to let them in. "Just some stupid kid in my pack making trouble."

"Are you okay?" Jane moved around him and gasped at the foot long gashes on his back. "Oh my God!"

"Trust me, it looks worse than it is." Bucky walked back to the living room couch, Loki and Jane close behind as if afraid he would collapse. "I heal fast. By tomorrow there won't even be scabs."

"Can I just take a quick look anyway?"

"Jane minored in nursing," Loki explained. "She thinks she can fix anyone."

"I'll fix that smart mouth of yours," Jane shot back.

"Do you promise?"

They smirked at each other, eyes turning a darker red. Bucky coughed. "Do you guys need a moment?"

"We need several, but not right now," said Loki. He sat down in the recliner by the fireplace, crossing one long leg over the other. Jane watched him, clearly entranced by her husband's poise. Bucky didn't blame her. "Regardless, we only wished to formally introduce ourselves. Since we'll be neighbors for the foreseeable future, it seemed only right that we all get to know each other."

"We would've invited you to our place for dinner," said Jane as she bandaged the wound, "but then we realized… we don't really have a kitchen. Kinda don't need one so..."

"Yeah well, I'd offer you something to drink, but I only have Pepsi products," Bucky shrugged. "No blood here."

"Except your own," Loki said, eyeing Bucky hungrily before bursting out laughing. "I'm only joking of course."

Jane laughed with him, albeit more hesitantly, while Bucky forced a weak chuckle. "Heh… yeah, I figured."

Weirdly enough, the idea being bitten by one or both of them didn't sound so bad. He had heard the stories about what vampire bites were like. Better than ten orgasms at once, or so it was said.

"If you were hoping to get some sleep tonight, we can come back another time," said Jane.

He smiled at her. Damn, she was adorable up close. "Nah, it's cool. How about we all watch a movie?"

"We were rather hoping to discuss something with you first," said Loki, steepling his fingers. "Mr. Barnes, are you seeing anyone?"

Bucky's mouth opened, but his ability to speak was momentarily lost. Even when it came back, the most he could manage was, "I'm not… What? I mean… no, I'm not." It was a perfect time to notice Jane was still touching him.

"I hope you don't mind my asking. Jane and I were merely wondering."

"Right, and it's in Loki's nature to speak his mind no matter who's listening," Jane sighed.

"Indeed it is," he said proudly.

"Okay well…" Bucky rubbed his neck. "I'm kind of at a point where I've been so focused on my pack and working and stuff like that. Haven't been in the dating scene for a while."

"Then you're not currently looking."

"No, I guess not."

Loki hummed and shared a glance with Jane. Bucky had heard some mated vampires could hear each other's thoughts. He'd certainly believe it looking at these two. After a moment, Jane moved away from him to sit on the other side of the couch. Bucky almost held her back. His claws extended before he could stop them.

"Very well," said Loki, turning towards the flat screen. "Let's see what's on tonight."

The switch from intimate conversation to casual chit-chat was so abrupt, it was almost like Loki had become a different person. Bucky watched him carefully as he reached for the remote, but neither he nor Jane moved or made any provocative comments. Instead, they argued over whether to put on a sci-fi movie or a historical drama. Bucky was partial to war movies himself, but they were the guests, so he left it for them to decide. He soon relaxed enough that, when Jane scooted over and her fingers brushed his biceps, he took it for the innocent, accidental touch it most assuredly was.

* * *

Bucky awoke the next morning in bed. Naked. All pain completely gone. With two equally naked vampires cuddled up to him.

He sat up and felt his neck. Bitemarks. He checked Loki and Jane's arms. Scratch marks.

"Holy fucking shit," he muttered. "That wasn't a dream."

Loki's eyes snapped open. Bastard probably wasn't even asleep to begin with. "No, it wasn't. And neither is this."

He kissed Bucky hard on the lips as Jane ran her tongue along the holes in his neck, sending residual jolts of heat coursing through his body.


	6. Finding Hank- Lokane

**06: Tentacles (Loki/Jane)**

 _It's a perfect day for a family trip to the zoo._

"That's an octopus!" Christina pointed at the bright orange cephalopod behind the glass as if making an accusation.

"Yes, it is," Jane said, smiling up at her daughter as she launched herself off Loki's shoulders. "Good job. You're getting good at identifying animals."

Christina, who would normally grin and strike a pose at the compliment, was completely enthralled by the eight-armed creature. Her green eyes followed it across the rocky surface of its tank home. "He looks like Hank. Hi Hank, I'm Christina! I loved your movie!"

"What is she talking about?" Loki whispered to Jane.

"Finding Dory, Loki. Remember we watched it the other day?"

Loki's answer was cut off by Christina nearly kicking him in the face. "He waved at me! Look Mommy! Look Daddy! Hank waved at me!"

"That's great, sweetheart" Jane said as Loki let her down.

Christina ran in circles, her boundless three-year-old energy (or three and three quarters as she would say) carrying her at speeds invisible to the naked eye. She waved her arms like she was trying to fly. The octopus moved its tentacles back and forth in a way which could be misconstrued as waving back. "You're the best ever Hank! Wanna come out and play?"

"No, he can't play with you, Christina," Jane said. "He needs to stay in that tank-"

Loki had long since felt the spark of magic, but he had no time to warn Jane before the octopus blinked out of its watery home and onto the porous floor at Christina's feet. A stocky, bearded employee teaching a group of schoolchildren about the exhibit let out a girlish shriek. The children cheered. The octopus slid along the wall, unbothered by the chaos his release had caused as the panicking employee screamed into his radio for help.

By sheer coincidence, their new friend was crawling in the direction of the exit, and it wasn't long before Christina glommed on to this. "You're free Hank! Find a tag and go to Cleveland! Go Hank go!"

The other kids chanted 'Go Hank go!' with her, their harried chaperone failing miserably in her attempts to calm them. Sirens went off and a voice over the intercom announced they were going on lockdown and commanded everyone to evacuate the building. Loki examined his nails, boredly wondering when something would catch on fire or explode. This elementary level pandemonium was so predictable. Almost like as predictable as Jane's face when she was mad at him.

"Let's teach her magic _early_ ," she said mockingly. "It's _perfectly_ safe. Nothing bad will _ever_ happen."

"We have very different definitions of 'bad', dearest," Loki said. When Jane continued to glare at him, he let out a sigh. "Very well. I'll fix it. Christina will be quite disappointed, though."

"As disappointed as you'll be tonight?"

Fair enough.


	7. Un Poco Loco- BuckyJane

**07: Movie Night- Bucky/Jane**

 _Jane's boring night gets slightly better._

It was one of Jane's (extremely) rare days off. No new data to crunch, no bridge programs to write, just a couch, a TV and fifteen hundred channels with a vast multitude of nothing for her viewing pleasure. After combing through each one, Jane dropped the remote and threw an arm over her eyes. The blinking StarkTV logo was giving her a headache.

"FRIDAY, remind me to talk to Tony about how not everything needs his name on it."

"You got it, Doctor Foster."

Jane reached for the remote and flipped back to HBO. The James Bond movie she'd skipped earlier had just come to an end. She eagerly awaited the next one, and was rewarded with the opening credits for… another James Bond movie.

"FRIDAY, where'd I leave my phone?"

"Under your pillow."

Jane fished behind her head and struck gold. "Thanks."

She opened her contacts and clicked on the first one. _'How's your family?'_ she wrote.

Darcy texted back immediately. _'They're fine. Mom says hi. U good?'_

 _'Bored. Nothing to do and nothing to watch.'_

 _'1500 channels and still nothing? Wow.'_

 _'Yup.'_

 _'U try netflix?'_

 _'Don't have it.'_

 _'Use mine. Been meaning to give you the info anyway.'_

She then sent Jane her email and a password. Though Jane wasn't sure how much it would help, it was this or that History channel documentary on butter churning. Opening the netflix app, she input Darcy's information and was greeted by two square faces, one labeled 'Darcy' the other 'Jane.' Her phone chimed.

 _'Took the liberty of making u a profile. Put some stuff in_ ur _list I thought_ u'd _like.'_

Trust Darcy to always think ahead. Jane clicked on her channel, expecting a bunch of astrophysical content because everyone was convinced her whole life revolved around her work. Which it didn't. She also enjoyed eating and sleeping.

Instead, she found a short list of movies and shows. Most of which she'd never heard of. The Covenant, about a group of male models masquerading as warlocks in high school (or so she assumed from the thumbnail), came off as a bit too intellectual for her tastes. Spread was similarly dull. Then there was Gossip Girl of all things. While Jane was clicking through episodes of Once Upon a Time, Darcy messaged her again.

 _'Check out Hat Trick if you watch OUAT. Good episode.'_

"What are you trying to tell me, Darcy?" Jane muttered conspiratorially.

She jumped as the elevator dinged and a tall, blue-eyed man stepped out. He was mumbling to himself, too low for Jane to hear, but fell silent upon seeing her. He almost opened his mouth, but then thought better of it. Jane didn't take it personally. In all the time she'd known Bucky Barnes, he hadn't spoken more than a few words to anyone other than Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson.

Which was a shame. She had a feeling his voice was as nice as the rest of him.

"Hi Bucky," Jane said. It felt weird to call him that when they barely knew each other, but he never answered to anything else. "I was just looking for a movie to watch. Care to join me?"

To her surprise, Bucky did not walk away like the taciturn soldier he was. Instead, he found a spot on the far end of the couch. He stared at the ceiling as Jane exercised a great deal of effort to keep her eyes on the screen. Ten minutes later, she still hadn't found anything good to watch.

"Hm… let's see what Darcy has," she switched to Darcy's profile and was met with a cacophony of colorful characters from a happy blue fish to a sparkly princess. Jane snorted as she dug through Darcy's list. Nothing but Disney movies and cartoons with a few teen dramas and reality shows peppered throughout. "Never would've guessed."

Though animation wasn't her thing, she settled on Coco, the new Pixar movie, to which Bucky did not object. Thirty minutes in and she was actually enjoying herself. While she was no expert, the depiction of Mexican culture seemed pretty on point. The characters were likable, though the 'no music ever' thing was a tad unrealistic.

"I mean, I've hummed enough times while building my equipment," she said, "this ban is not sustainable unless they soundproof their entire house and don't keep a TV or a radio. Otherwise, that grandma will be going off at every commercial jingle."

Bucky shrugged. She thought she saw a smile, but it was probably a trick of the light. The movie continued with the little boy… dying? Not dying? They didn't seem too concerned with explaining how it worked. After his family brought him to the land of the dead, he met his great great grandmother, who was introduced berating a timid office worker. She removed her boot and smashed the employee's computer, calling it a 'devil box'.

Bucky's shoulders shook, and Jane feared something was wrong until he started snickering, then full on laughing. The skin around his eyes crinkled when he closed them. She'd never noticed that before, but it was adorable. And so perfectly him. Just like his hearty laughter.

"Hah- sorry," he said when he calmed down. "Didn't see that coming."

"It was pretty funny," Jane said. "Though speaking as a scientist, I'm kind of horrified she destroyed a computer."

"If you don't mind me saying, Doctor Foster, I could see you beating someone with a shoe if they got in your way."

He… wasn't wrong. Hell, she'd come close to punching out more than one blowhard professor for belittling her and Erik's work. Even if she hadn't, this was the most Bucky had ever said in her presence. "When this is over, want to watch another movie?"

He hesitated for all of a second, then flashed a grin that made her shiver. "Sure thing, doll."


	8. Love Connection- BuckyJaneSteve

**08: Rivalry- Bucky/Jane/Steve**

 _Jane knows she can't compete with Steve. If only the lucky bastard would make a move already._

When Jane was in high school, she and her best friend fought over a boy. He was in their Intro to Physics class. He had a perfect jawline and could recite the entire periodic table of elements from memory. That was all Jane remembered about him fifteen years later. After months of tripping each other in the hallways and revealing each other's deepest secrets to anyone who'd listen, the object of their affections refused both their prom invites and instead took his girlfriend, a girl from another district. At the ten year reunion, she was pregnant with their fifth child and they were just about the happiest couple Jane had ever seen. Meanwhile, she and her former best friend spent the night avoiding each other.

She learned a valuable lesson: never fight over a man. It would only lead to trouble, whether he was taken or not. For example, she could have made a move on Bucky Barnes any time she wanted while helping him recuperate from a broken leg, but she didn't. In the two weeks it took his enhanced healing to fix the damage, she had been nothing but professional and friendly. She hadn't flirted or checked him out while he was changing (okay one time but it was an accident). She'd been perfectly objective and the friend Bucky needed. Emphasis on 'friend'.

Because no matter how much she wanted to rip his clothes off with her teeth and climb him like a tree, he already had the love of his life. He found him scruffed up on the playground when they were six years old, long before Jane was even born. Not like she could complete with that.

Steve helped Bucky walk across the room on his newly healed leg, fresh out of a cast. Two steps in and Bucky was pushing him away. "I got it. Back off."

"You're welcome," Steve snorted.

Bucky sauntered from one side of the room to the other. Upon reaching Jane, he swept her into his arms and dipped her, making her squeal. "Gotcha!"

"Very funny," Jane said, swatting his shoulder. "I think you're all healed now."

"Damn right, and thank God. I was about to go crazy if I had to spend one more day in that bed." He spun Jane around and then smacked Steve's backside to get him out of the doorway. "Move your ass. And hit the gym while you're at it. You're getting fat on me."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you!"

They shared a laugh as Bucky slipped out of the room. He could be heard rummaging through the refrigerator as Jane and Steve avoided each other's eyes. This had been the norm since Bucky first introduced them. Even though he'd never called Steve his boyfriend, it was pretty obvious their bond went well beyond friendship. From the way Steve looked at her, it was equally obvious he knew how deep her feelings for Bucky ran. And he didn't like it one bit.

"So," Jane said, inching closer to the door.

"So," Steve repeated, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Glad he's better."

"Me too."

"He looked good just now."

"Yeah, real good."

They stood in silence as the microwave turned on. The smell of mini pizzas filled the air, but while the promise of melted cheese and empty calories would usually have Jane's mouthwatering, her stomach was a brick today.

"I'd better go," Jane said… as did Steve. " _You'd_ better go?"

Jane didn't speak again. She was afraid to open her mouth, so she just blinked stupidly at him.

"Don't you guys want some privacy?" Steve asked, his cheeks beat red. "Since he's better now, you two can…"

"Can what?" Jane demanded, more forcefully than necessary. "I mean, don't you want to be alone with him?"

"Yes," Steve answered quickly. "No! I didn't mean… I know you guys have a thing and I don't-"

"Bucky and I don't have a thing! Why would you think that?"

"Jane I'm not blind, I see the way he looks at you," Steve said, not even trying to hide the bitterness in his tone.

"You mean the way he looks at _you_. I _wish_ he'd look at me like that, but he doesn't."

"Yes, he does! I've known him for years and I can tell he wants you way more than he'd ever want me!"

"Are you blind? He's in love with you! I'm not going to fight you over this, Steve."

"And you shouldn't because you're wrong. He loves _you_."

"Okay, this is ridiculous." Jane pulled her hair in frustration. "I'm trying to give you some space to make a move already. I know you want him."

"So do you," Steve snapped. "The difference is, he'd say yes to you."

"No, he'd say yes to you! He wants _you_!"

"He wants _you_!"

Slow chewing diffused the argument. Bucky leaned against the wall, a half-eaten pizza bagel in his hand. He stared at them, expressionless, as he finished the bagel and wiped his hands off on his pants. Jane glanced at Steve, happy to find the same bugged out eyes and blanched skin she no doubt sported. Bucky walked slowly, each step deliberate, his once injured leg no longer wobbling with effort.

"So," Bucky said, staring down at her, "you want me, but you think I only want Steve."

Jane was too ashamed to speak or even gesture, and that was answer enough.

"And you," Bucky shot at Steve, "also want me, but you think I only want Jane. Am I understanding this right?"

Steve mumbled something and so did Jane. It could've been the same something, but either way, it was a lot of nothing. So much for keeping things professional. Now Bucky and Steve would both hate her.

"Hmm," Bucky rubbed his chin, "yeah, that's a problem. Lucky for you two, I have the perfect solution. If you'll just follow me into my office, I'll explain."

He led them down the hall to the very room he'd just triumphantly exited. This fact was not lost on anyone.

"That's your bedroom," Steve said.

Bucky grinned. "Uh huh."

He let them go in first and locked the door behind them.

Seven hours later, Jane was a sweaty, panting mess clinging to Bucky's shoulder for dear life. Steve, on Bucky's other side, looked like he hadn't gotten a workout this intense since the war. Bucky, head resting in his hands, wore the smirk of a man who truly believed he was all that and a bag of chips. It was for once not infuriating or douchey because after that display (Seven. Hours…) he'd more than earned the right to be cocky.

"Are we all in agreement that my way is the best way?" he asked.

Jane and Steve nodded, temporarily incapable of speech.

"Glad to hear it. Let's get some sleep. I'm thinking tomorrow'll be a late morning."

"He's going to kill us," Jane whispered to Steve.

"Probably," he answered.

But what a way to go.


	9. Facing the Peril- SteveJane

**09: Fairy Tales- Steve/Jane**

 _Fairy Tale AU: Steve, a wandering knight, happens upon a strange sight in the woods._

Sir Steve was having an off week. There no dragons to slay, no kingdoms to save, not even a cursed princess to kiss awake. Not that he wanted to do the kissing thing. There were consent issues involved that most modern knights hoped to avoid, and the ones who were okay with it typically didn't get that Happily Ever After.

Instead of performing heroic feats worthy of his title, Sir Steve had spent the last few days sketching birds in the glen. Many years ago, when he was nothing but a scrawny farm boy, this used to be his only release from the townsfolk and their mockery. Someone like him, who could barely push a plow without getting winded, didn't deserve respect in their eyes. Then one day, he saved a traveling wizard from a mountain lion, nearly getting himself killed in the process. Out of gratitude, and sensing within Steve the 'will of a hero', the wizard blessed him with the strength of fifty men. Now he was a knight with nothing to do. Some might believe he was so powerful, he'd already purged the world of evil, but Steve knew that wasn't the case. No matter how hard you stomped it out, evil always rose again.

Now, if he could just find it.

He finished drawing a Norwegian Blue, whose plumage was not nearly as beautiful as people said. Putting his paper and pens away, he spotted something odd across the river. It was a woman, clad in a plain brown dress, seated on a boulder with a book in her hands. A massive broadsword was propped up on the rock wall beside her. Though she wasn't standing, he could tell she'd have maybe an inch on the weapon at her full height. She glanced up, perhaps sensing she was being watched and waved at Steve.

"Good morning, Sir Knight!" she said.

Steve waved back awkwardly. He felt five feet tall again. "Good morning. Ah… my name's Steve.

"Jane."

"Nice to meet you... do you mind if I ask what you're doing?"

She put down her book and jerked her thumb at a cave entrance several feet away. "See that cave? A troll lives in there that's been threatening my village. He wants to take me as his bride since I'm the town leader's niece."

"And you're letting him?"

Jane snorted. "Yeah right. I'm waiting out here so I can stab him through the heart."

Steve looked again at her sword. It was in its sheath so he couldn't tell what it was made of or how sharp it was. "Have you had a lot of practice with that thing?"

"Of course," she said, "I swung it a few times after I bought it yesterday. I can handle this."

...no.

"How about I come over there and give you a hand?" Steve asked. He pulled off his heavier armor and undid his shoes. "Make it a little easier on you."

"I'm good, thanks," she said. "He's slow. Takes him an hour just to hobble his way to my village."

"He's still really strong. Trust me on this. I've fought a lot of trolls in my time."

Steve swam across, making it to the other side in record time. Jane glanced furtively at her sword several times. "Look, thanks for the offer, but I know how this works and I'm not looking to fall into the arms of the first knight I see all because-"

"Oh no, I don't mean it like that," said Steve. "I just … without offense, you don't look like someone who fights trolls on the regular."

"So?" she put her hands on her hips. "It can't be that hard."

"It's very hard actually."

"You sound like my uncle. He always says I'm too reckless."

Steve would've remarked that her uncle was probably right, but hadn't he been told the same thing by everyone he ever fought with? Maybe there was a reason they'd met today. "How about I just stand back and watch? I'll only step in if you need me to."

Jane folded her arms. "As in, the second the troll comes out, you're going to push me out of the way so you'll be the big strong hero and I'll be the swooning damsel you can carry off on your white horse into the sunset."

Steve blinked. "I was just thinking the first part, but-"

"Thank you, but your services will not be required." Inside the cave, there came a growl as the ground shook beneath their feet. Jane took up her sword, nearly losing her balance as she struggled to lift it. "Now back up. This guy is mine."

The troll emerged from his cave. Ten feet tall and wide as a house. His grayish bald head turned this way and that. It grumbled something in its gravelly language. Steve had only picked up a bit of Trollish in his travels, but it sounded like he was hungry. With trembling arms, Jane lowered the sword.

"Wow… he's a lot bigger up close," she said. The troll grabbed a nearby tree and uprooted it with one hand. He scratched his back and then tossed it aside. It flew over the horizon. Jane glanced at Steve before sighing and handing him the sword. _"Fine."_

Twenty minutes later, with the troll dead at the bottom of the river, Jane tended to Steve's wounds. "That's a beautiful sword, by the way. You must've spent a fortune on it."

"I got it specially made to kill trolls," she said, rubbing a salve on his shoulder. "At least now I know it works."

"Tell you what, how about I teach you how to use it? Then next time, you can kill the troll yourself."

"Thanks," Jane said. She finished cleaning him up and they sat in the grass, watching the water flow. "I'm still not marrying you, but maybe we can go get a drink sometime."

Steve placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed gently. "Sounds good to me."


	10. Chatspeak- LokiJaneBucky

**10: Leaving Notes- Loki/Jane/Bucky** **  
**

_Loki has a message for Bucky. Bucky doesn't want to hear it. Jane is never going to get any work done._

 _My dearest James-_

 _I hope this letter finds you in good health. Perhaps you are in your room reading, or with Steven training for the next alien invasion (which you'll trust I had no part in). Perhaps you are at this very moment in the shower, cleansing your fine body of your enemies' blood. Just thinking about it sets me aflame. I can't wait until the next time the three of us are together. Nothing excites me more than to see your face between Jane's silky legs, making her scream as I take you from behind. Let us reconvene tonight in my chambers. Stark has put in something called a Jacuzzi. I have yet to try it but it sounds most interesting. Do_ come _find us soon._

 _All my love and devotion,_

 _Loki_

* * *

 _Dear fuckhead,_

 _Stop teleporting your stupid sex fantasies into my shower. You'd better not be spying on me in here. And I've told you a thousand times to call me Bucky. If I have to say it again, I'm sewing that fat mouth of yours shut. With concrete._

 _Eat my ass,_

 _Bucky_

 _PS: You'd better not start another fake invasion to 'train' us, you smug douchebag._

* * *

 _Oh but darling, you have such a majestic first name. I love how it rolls off the tongue almost as much as I love your tongue. By the way, you missed a spot on your back._

 _It would be my pleasure,_

 _Loki_

 _PS: I make no promises._

* * *

 _ **Bucky** has entered the chat._

 **Bucky:** I'm killing Loki tonight. Just wanted to let you know.

 **Jane:** What did he do this time?

 **Bucky:** What didn't he do? Talk me out of it now or you're down one boyfriend.

 **Jane:** He can shapeshift, he does that thing with his hips, he makes copies of himself. I have more if you need it.

 **Bucky:** Nah, I'm good. Just watch it when you're in the shower. Fucker has eyes everywhere.

 **Jane:** Don't I know it.

* * *

 _Loki, stop bothering Bucky. I just had to convince him not to stab you. Again. This is getting out of hand._

 _-Jane_

* * *

 _Jane,_

 _Is it my fault he has no sense of humor? I'm trying to keep this relationship exciting, and all I get in return is threatened with bodily harm. At the very least, he could make good on it._

 _Eternally yours,_

 _Loki_

* * *

 _You are such a freak._

 _-Jane_

* * *

 _Pardon, but who was it who first asked me to spank her when she was late coming home from the lab? And who then proceeded to be late six times in a row to goad me on? For all that I take care of the two of you, I believe it's only fair that I am taken care of myself sometimes._

 _Thinking of you always in my bed,_

 _Loki_

* * *

 _You're a freak and a pervert._

 _;)_

* * *

 _Only because I love you, my Jane_.

* * *

 _ **Jane** has entered the chat._

 **Bucky:** But your highness, I'm am a mere servant. It would be indecent for me to take my clothes off for you… this is so fucking stupid.

 **Loki:** Roleplay is a healthy part of any relationship, dearest. Now then, as your King, I command you to disrobe. Slowly. Describe each article of clothing as you remove it.

 **Jane:** What did I walk into?

 **Loki:** Patience Jane.

 **Bucky:** Well, first I take off my shoes. Undo the laces. Peel off my socks.

 **Loki:** Feet do very little for me. Go on.

 **Bucky:** Okay, next comes my coat. I shed it slowly.

 **Jane:** Getting hot in here. Lol

 **Loki:** Yes…

 **Bucky:** Then I take off the clown mask.

 **Loki:** …

 **Jane:** WTF? LOL!

 **Bucky:** Now I remove the bloody animal pelt. Wow, that's a lot of blood.

 **Loki:** James, are you taking this seriously?

 **Bucky:** Bucky takes everything seriously. Now I take off the human skin suit and the horse dildo.

 **Jane:** LMAO

 **Loki:** If you think you can offend me, you are very wrong.

 **Bucky:** And the red cape.

 **Jane:** Uh-oh.

 **Loki:** That's enough.

 **Bucky:** What's wrong? Don't like red? It's such a great color. Really rolls my thunder if you catch my drift.

 **Loki:** One more word and you will be punished.

 **Jane:** Bucky, don't.

 **Bucky:** Thor's got a sweet ass.

 **Jane:** Oh my god...

 **Loki:** That's it.

 **Bucky:** Oh, what are you gonna do? Come over here and aoghafaldakfd ag;

 **Jane:** Bucky? You okay?

 **Bucky:** Helaegf

 **Jane:** Loki, what are you doiakleghf;lkdsf

 _ **Jane** , **Bucky** , and **Loki** have left the chat._

* * *

 _Dear Loki,_

 _We are writing in regards to the events of last night. Up to and including, kidnapping us, tying us to your bed, and engaging us in various depraved sexual acts until we could no longer remember our own names. Due to the extreme and mindblowing nature of these acts, we must request a total cease and desist effective immediately. That is to say, you are no longer allowed under any circumstances to rock our worlds with the expectation of then having your world rocked._

 _We thank you for your time in considering our grievances and hope to come to an acceptable agreement soon._

 _Sincerely,_

 _James Buchanan 'BUCKY' Barnes and Jane Foster_

* * *

 _You two do realize this letter of yours means I'll be taking you both again tonight?_

* * *

 _Then why don't you quit writing stupid notes and get over here before I have to hunt you down and stab you?_

 _Asshole._

 _-Bucky_

* * *

 _Jane,_

 _I love it when he talks sexy._

 _-Loki_


	11. Heat Wave- Lokane

**11: Sex Pollen- Lokane**

 _Loki finds Jane in a compromising position._

WARNING: Mild dub-con.

If this was to be Loki's penance for his crimes, maybe he should've just gone back to prison. At least then he wouldn't be stuck chasing foolish mortal scientists who couldn't leave well enough alone across the nine (pardon, eight) realms.

Exactly how Jane Foster got herself all the way to Alfheim with her primitive Bifrost 'prototype' was anyone's guess. Not even Stark could figure it out, and he'd been watching. According to his account, Jane said something about rising temperatures at the core sight, and then she vanished into thin air. It was only thanks to the tracking device in her phone that they were able to pinpoint her location. Thor, ever the thoughtful and conscientious brother, graciously volunteered Loki for the honor of retrieving her. He couldn't do it himself because the people of Asgard needed their leader as they built their new home on the soils of Midgard.

It was actually because he was a coward unwilling to face Jane Foster so soon after she left him. Before Loki could say so, Stark activated the bridge and he was on his way. A full day had past and he was ready to give her up for dead when he spotted a scrap of cloth hanging from a thorn bush. It was of poor quality and stained with coffee. Beneath the brown splotches were the hideous discolored squares commonly referred to as 'plaid.'

He followed the trail as more signs of her presence popped up. Another scrap here, loose sheets of paper covered in numbers there. A dense circle of bushes was just up ahead, her pitiful moans just audible beyond the thick leaves. Seemed whatever the great Jane Foster found in there had finally brought her to her knees. How disappointing.

Loki founded her curled up in the grass, clutching her midsection and squeezing her legs together. She was coated in a layer of sweat, and that alone would've told him what was wrong even before he saw the creeping vines with their luminescent red fruit.

"Oh my," he said, smirking even as he kept a safe distance between himself and the plant. "What have you been up to, Dr. Foster?"

"Help," Jane squeaked, crawling toward him. "It hurts…"

"Yes, I've heard it's quite painful. I don't envy what you must be going through."

"I need you. Please…"

"Need me to what?" He asked, getting down to her level. Her pupils were completely dilated, making her eyes look pitch black. "Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude not to finish your sentences?"

"Fuck you."

"Fuck _you_ , you mean," he pushed her hair behind her ears, almost but not quite touching her skin.

"Please," she begged, all fight gone from her. Oh if only Thor could see this. "Please just do it. Do _me_. Please."

"I'm afraid I cannot." Loki drew himself up. "You've been exposed to a mind-altering substance. Taking you now would be a gross violation of your autonomy. I would never dream of it."

"Are you kidding me?" she gasped, rolling onto her back. "You trying to be the moral one here? You were a bad guy!"

"The keyword being 'was'. I'm reformed now."

"Barely!"

"I still won't do it without proper consent. Which you cannot give in your current state. We both know in your right mind, you wouldn't dream of going to my bed."

"Yes, I would!"

"That's the toxin talking."

"No, no I mean it." Jane exerted all the strength left in her body to push herself up. She reached for her pack, tossing it at Loki's feet. More papers and a few notebooks spilled out. "Read- read the green one. Read it. I write about you in there."

Loki furrowed his brow. About _him_? Unless it involved new ways to knock his teeth out, he couldn't imagine why she'd have even one thought of him, much less enough to fill a book. He found the slim tome with no trouble. It stuck out among the blacks and browns of her other books. He turned to a random page. It was nothing except musings on her days in the lab running tests and yelling at her servant girl until Loki himself appeared to drag her out of her chair and rip all her clothes off and-

"I…" Loki was not often lost for words, but as he read through Jane's utterly sinful fantasy of him taking her on one of her lab tables, there were very few things he could think of to say.

"I started thinking about you," Jane groaned, "after we met. Fighting Malekith. I had dreams about you. It wouldn't stop, and then I broke up with Thor and it got worse. I just started writing it all down to get it out of my system. Never thought it would really happen, but…"

She had to stop as a fresh wave of heat pulsed through her. She clung to his leg, her desperate pleas shattering what little resolve he had left. Frigga forgive him.

"If we do this," he said hoarsely, "you understand it cannot be taken back. Once the poison leaves your body, you will remember what we did."

"I've wanted you since day one," she said. "The only difference is now I _need_ you."

There were far more differences than she realized, but even without her secret desires, they didn't have much of a choice. The pollen she'd ingested was clearly a more aggressive variety. Without proper relief, her mind might not survive, and hers was not one to waste. Loki swept her into his arms as she attacked his neck with kisses and nips. He grit his teeth and focused on creating the walls and furnishings of a standard Asgardian suite.

"Wha-?" Jane took in her new surroundings as Loki laid her on the bed.

"It's an illusion," he explained. "If we're going to do this, we might as well be comfortable."

Jane nodded, and that was her final act of sanity before crushing her lips to his and grinding against him. It wasn't until hours later, when she was fast asleep with her head on his chest, her pallor and heart rate slowly returning to normal, that it occurred to him to conjure a lab table instead of a bed.

Oh well. Maybe next time.


	12. Routine- BuckyJane

**12: Domesticity- Bucky/Jane**

 _A typical morning in the Foster-Barnes household._

Bucky stepped on an action figure. He almost didn't feel it through his slipper and extra durable skin. Lifting his foot, he recognized one of Jacob's many Dragon Ball toys. Or maybe it was a Pokemon toy. Whatever the kids were watching these days.

A small body bounded down the stairs, lured by the mouthwatering smell of breakfast. Bucky caught him by his shirt collar and held the toy in his face. "What is this?"

Jacob blinked. "Uh… Goku?"

"And what is Goku doing on the floor?"

"I guess I left him there last night…"

He turned on the puppy dog eyes, which hadn't worked on Bucky since the day Jacob discovered spilling grape juice on the carpet made it turn purple.

"Where should Goku be right now?"

"In my toy box."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"Put him back in my toy box."

"Right. And what are you not going to do anymore?"

"Leave him on the floor for people to step on?"

"Good boy." Bucky patted his back, sending him running back upstairs to his room.

In the kitchen, Jane had four pancakes left on the stove. She flipped the first three perfectly. The fourth folded in on itself. She cursed. "Every time…"

"I'll take that one. I don't mind," Bucky said, coming up behind her. He put his hands on her hips and kissed her neck. "Good morning."

"Morning," Jane said, taking a moment to enjoy his closeness before gently pushing him away. "Jacob will be down any minute."

"He's not here now." Bucky trailed featherlight kisses to her mouth and got a single chaste peck before she slid out of his grasp.

"Okay, I have a meeting with the head of the department of Scientific research and development at two. You're training with Steve until four. Jacob's soccer practice ends at quarter to five. I can probably pick him up after lunch assuming I'm not called in for a consult. How does pizza sound for dinner tonight?"

"Works for me," Bucky said, stacking six pancakes on his plate. "When did our lives become so routine?"

"When you convinced me to put in a hot tub and then got me pregnant," said Jane.

"Oh yeah," Bucky smirked. "Good times."

Jane flicked a few drops of pancake batter at him. He would've retaliated with a squirt of syrup and started an all-out food fight, but then Jacob returned.

"What's for breakfast?" he asked.

"Good morning to you, too, Jacob," Jane said, eyeing the boy expectantly.

"Oh sorry. Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Dad. What's for breakfast?"

Jane and Bucky shared a look. 'He's _your_ son,' Bucky mouthed, then chuckled as she rolled her eyes and put the last, biggest pancake on her own plate, leaving him to subsist on the small ones. "Cruel."

"You know it," she smirked.

"What's cruel?" asked Jacob. He had a half dozen pancakes stacked on his plate and was drowning them in syrup.

"Nothing, son. Just grown-up stuff," said Bucky.

"You mean like actual grown-up stuff or just sex? Because I know about sex already."

"Yes, and I don't understand why when you're only seven," Jane remarked.

"I do read, you know," said Jacob, "but don't worry, I haven't told any of my classmates. They all still think Santa Claus is real. I don't think they can handle knowing how babies are made."

"Okay, let's not talk about baby making at the table." Jane clapped her hands. "Let's eat!"

"And let's lock up all your books while he's at school," Bucky whispered in her ear.

"I can hear you," said Jacob.

"Shut up, kid. Eat your pancakes."


	13. Hitchhiker- BuckyJaneSteve

**13: Car Repair- Bucky/Jane/Steve**

 _Jane gets some unexpected help while stranded in the desert._

 _'And this is why everyone thinks you're a nutcase, Jane. Because you drive off in the middle of nowhere following a lead that's an obvious dud, and then you run out of gas because you didn't think you'd need the extra fuel tank. Good going.'_

Jane kicked the front bumper. It didn't solve her problems or do anything except make her big toe ache, but at least she felt marginally better about her current situation. Being stuck in the desert with nothing but sand dunes for miles would've been a great adventure to her twelve-year-old self, who was stuck in Suburbia with nothing but trees and clone houses for miles. To her current self, it was about as appealing as watching paint dry. Also, she was probably going to die of thirst if another car didn't come by soon.

It really was just perfect. All her technical knowledge and experience with engineering and she was saddled with the most basic problem in the world: out of gas. And she couldn't solve for the stupidest reason: no gas.

The nearest station was ten miles away back in town. The weather tracker that had gone haywire in the middle of the day and brought her all the way out here was silent now that she'd blown out the dust and restarted it. She checked her phone; not even one bar.

 _'Great. Just great. Nice job, Jane.'_

She would've happily beat herself up until the vultures came to pick at her bones. The building roar of an engine stopped her. Over the horizon, a truck barreled towards her. It looked to be a gas truck. The driver honked his horn as Jane ran into the road and waved her arms.

"Hey! HEY!" She screamed. "I need help!"

The truck swerved around her. For a split second, she saw the man behind the wheel: middle-aged with a beard, flipping her off for getting in his way. Jane's blood boiled hotter than the sun as she threw rocks and dirt clods after him.

"Asshole!"

Jane threw one more rock. It landed three feet away and rolled into the sand. Jane groaned and flopped over in the open trunk. To think, this was how it all ended. At least she'd proven her theories and gotten some actual recognition for her hard work. Maybe she should write out a will. The trailer could go to Darcy, the lab would go to Erik… but wait, she didn't have any witnesses. Goddammit.

"Excuse me, do you need help?"

It had completely escaped her notice that another car was passing. This one a nondescript blue Sedan with New York license plates. In the driver's seat was a handsome blonde man wearing sunglasses. He and his passenger, another handsome man in shades, looked out at her with obvious concern.

Jane rubbed her eyes. They didn't disappear, meaning they were probably real. She spoke without thinking. "Would you guys sign my will?"

?I'm sorry?"

"No wait, that's not what I meant." Jane sat up. "I'm out of gas and I need help. You guys wouldn't happen to have a spare tank would you?"

"We used it already," said the man in the passenger seat. "We can take you to the gas station if you want."

"That would be great," Jane said, "but I should warn you, I have a knife."

She didn't have a knife, but in retrospect, she probably should've filched Darcy's taser before she left.

"We'll keep that in mind," said the blonde man. "I'm Steve and this is Bucky. We're on a road trip to California."

"I'm Jane," she said, getting into the backseat. It had that distinct new car smell and tags for a rental company on the windshield. "I was… storm chasing."

"But it's been clear all day," said Bucky.

 _"Hasn't it?"_

Steve made a U-turn to go back the way they came. The three of them made chit-chat for a while until Jane's eyes began to droop. She rested her head back, studying her two rescuers. The similarities between them and a certain super soldier duo were obvious. If Jane didn't know any better, she'd say they really were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. They looked like them, had the same first names even.

But no, it couldn't be. They'd be off killing terrorists ten countries away right now. That this Steve and Bucky bore such striking resemblances to The Steve and Bucky was either the world's weirdest coincidence or her mind playing tricks on her. She didn't even bother asking; no point in making a fool out of herself.

She dozed off, unaware of Bucky's eyes on her through the rearview mirror. "She kind of looks like Jane Foster, doesn't she?"

Steve slowed down to glance back at her. He pursed his lips. "A little."

"A lot, you mean. Even has the same name as her."

"Jane is a very common name. What would a world-famous astrophysicist be doing in the desert anyway?."

"I can dream." He'd been wanting to meet the brilliant (not to mention beautiful) doctor ever since he read her book.

Hopefully the day would come, but for now, he and Steve would complete their good deed of the day and help the good Doctor's stranded lookalike get where she needed to go.


	14. Nerds Are Sexy- SteveJane

**14: Tutoring- Steve/Jane**

 _High School AU: Jane has no right to even look in Steve's direction. Or does she?_

Jane Foster was a nerd. She knew this because she was reminded at least five times a day. Sometimes more depending on how many cheerleaders and textbook 'popular' girls there were diligently not studying in the library that day.

"Nerd," they'd fake whisper as she walked by with a stack of books. Like this was supposed to send her into hysterics because… whatever their names were didn't like her.

But then Jane's chemistry teacher hit her with a new kind of assignment: tutoring the school's star quarterback/most popular boy/hottest eligible bachelor who still didn't have a date for homecoming, Steve Rogers. Apparently, the golden boy, who was not stupid by any means, had been floundering a bit in his most recent tests. The C grade wasn't good for his college prospects. Time for the nerd to shine. Jane had agreed to help Steve out for the rest of the year. One week in and she was already regretting it.

"You know you have no business talking to him," said the fifth nameless cheerleader to corner Jane by her locker. "He's way too cool for someone like you."

"No one here is going to remember you five years from now," Jane said. It wasn't the wittiest comeback ever, but it did wipe the smile off the girl's face, and that was good enough.

She met Steve in their usual corner by the computer lab. He had all his books out and papers covered in neatly organized chem notes. Just like she taught him. Like magic, all insecurity and doubt drained out of Jane the moment he smiled at her.

"Hey Jane," he said, "glad you could make it."

"I see you've started without me." She nodded at Steve's open textbook and the incomplete proofs scribbled in the margins.

"Barely," Steve said sheepishly. "I'm not exaggerating when I say I have no idea what I'm doing."

"That's what I'm here for."

After looking over and correcting his work (he was on the right track and she couldn't be prouder), Jane gave him a condensed, easy to follow version of the day's lesson. While she had always liked their teacher and enjoyed his class, she could concede that he often didn't realize he was teaching apathetic high school kids and not doctoral candidates. It wouldn't be a stretch to say she was the only kid in class who actually cared about chemistry, even though her chosen field was more on the astronomical end of things.

Jane observed Steve's progress as he worked out the problems. It was close to three before she realized the table across from them was occupied. Four cheerleaders, her latest attacker included, glared at her with the heat of a thousand suns. Jane looked away, more out of pity than anything. Did they really have nothing better to do on a Friday afternoon than sit around being mad that a girl they decided was beneath them got to spend time with a guy they thought they were entitled to? Didn't they have homework or cheerleading practice?

"You okay?" Steve asked. He looked over his shoulder and the girls were suddenly all smiles. They switched right back to rage as soon as Steve's back was turned. "They're not bothering you, are they?"

Jane shrugged. "They don't like that I'm tutoring you. I'm too far down on the social ladder to even be talking to you right now."

Steve thought about that for a second. "You want to take this somewhere else?"

"There's only one library."

"How about the pizza place?" Steve leaned back, his hands behind his head. Something about that pose… did things to Jane. "We could share a pie."

"That's more like a date than tutoring," Jane joked.

"Sure is." He stood and reached out a hand. "You in?"

'Holy shit I think he's serious.' Jane stared at Steve for what felt like a lifetime, her fingers clenched around a pencil. She somehow let it go long enough to gather her things and follow him out of the library.

He held her hand as they passed the cheerleaders. All four of them were a spectacular shade of puce Jane didn't think she'd ever see again.

"What do you think you're doing?" one of them snapped at Jane.

Before she could answer, Steve stepped in. "I'm sorry, you're not cool enough to talk to Jane."

Her jaw fell, as did the other three girls. They were frozen in horror and indignation, but Jane couldn't care if she tried. She was pretty sure she'd just fallen a little bit in love with Steve Rogers. If this date went well, she had a feeling she'd just fall further.


	15. To The Victor- LokiJaneBucky

**15: Favors (Sexual or Otherwise)- Loki/Jane/Bucky**

 _When the Jotunn King helped save Midgard from certain doom, he asked for one thing in return._

They told her she was a hero. Seven billion people would be saved because of her sacrifice.

Jane knew it was a lie. The world was already safe. He had been the deciding factor in the war between Earth and the invading Skrulls. They would've fallen had the Frost Giants not arrived at the last minute to raze the Skrulls to the ground in the name of their new, Earthly allies.

For the longest time, no one knew why they helped. Jotunheim was completely detached from the conflict. Not even the Aesir would come, and according to King Loki, they were the self-proclaimed protectors of the nine realms. They just weren't as important as, say, Vanaheim, who received military assistance to on a regular basis. Midgardians just didn't live long enough. It would be like expending manpower to preserve a colony of mayflies.

And yet, Loki helped. He was the God of Mischief by old Norse standards, so perhaps they should've known he did nothing for free. Trouble is, he didn't name his price until long after the Skrulls had been vanquished.

"I have rescued your people out of the goodness of my heart. Now you owe me a debt of gratitude."

Those were his words at the televised meeting between his court and the World Security Council, right before they cut the video feed. Jane heard the rest a few hours later from Nick Fury. He came in person to her lab to deliver the news. She'd been awarded a once in a lifetime opportunity she couldn't possibly turn down.

No, really. She couldn't.

The worst part was telling Bucky. It had been two years since they found him on ice in a ravaged HYDRA bunker. If there was anything the Skrulls did right, it was taking out the Nazis first. Months of therapy and some helpful new technology courtesy of Wakanda had brought him mostly back to his old self. Meeting Jane had just been a bonus.

That night, she cried in his arms until she couldn't cry anymore. He tried to be strong like he always did, but this wasn't a condescending professor or spilled coffee on her keyboard. His arms around her shook. If he could, he'd never let go.

"This is fucking bullshit," he said. "They can't make you do this."

"They're afraid he'll declare war if I don't." Jane wiped her eyes. "We barely survived against the Skrulls. If the Jotunns attack next…"

"I'll kill that bastard myself," Bucky growled. Jane was the best thing that had ever happened to him after seventy years of agony and torture. To lose her now was like a death sentence.

He went with her the next day, glaring off anyone who tried to stop him. He nearly shot two men who tried to pry his hand off hers. The Jotunn guard sent to escort Jane to their planet watched with amusement, and possibly even respect.

"I'm going, too," Bucky told them in no uncertain terms.

He and Jane had argued about it the entire way there, but Bucky wouldn't budge. If Loki wanted her so bad, he'd have to drag Bucky away himself. Even if he died, he'd take that blue son of a bitch with him, and Jane could escape in the confusion.

Jotunheim was freezing when they arrived. Like the icebox Bucky used to hide in on hot summer days, but thousands of times worse. A heating spell over their skin kept them from freezing to death. Jane marveled at the burnt orange glow around her fingers, and Bucky couldn't help but smile. Captive or no, Jane was a scientist through and through.

Loki met them in his throne room. This was the first time Bucky had seen him in person. To his surprise, he wasn't a twenty foot tall giant like the rest. Actually, he was human-sized. Still taller than him, though. He stood from his throne, his chest bared to the cold he couldn't feel.

"Jane Foster," he purred, "so good of you to come. I've been watching you for some time. Your work in bifrost technology is fascinating, if tenuous at best."

"I don't need your sweet talk," Jane said. "I know why I'm here."

Loki quirked an eyebrow. "Do you?"

Jane squeezed Bucky's hand, inhaling shakily. "I'm your… prize. You want me for yourself."

It took everything Bucky had not to snap Loki's neck as he took Jane's free hand and pressed his lips to her skin. "You're not wrong, but if you think me a monster who wouldn't consider your feelings, I hope I can dissuade you."

"Don't touch her," Bucky said through grit teeth.

Loki eyed him, at first lazily, then with interest. "And you are?"

"James Barnes. I'm Jane's fiance." He made sure to emphasize it, and move his finger enough that her diamond ring would show.

"So you are," Loki studied it. He nodded and two guards took Jane by the shoulders. They pulled her toward a massive staircase. She reached in vain for Bucky, tears spilling down her cheeks. Bucky growled, readying the knife hidden on his belt. Loki's hand stopped him. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Attacking me would only lead to your demise."

"I won't let you do this to her," Bucky snarled.

"I wouldn't dream of bringing harm to Jane," Loki said, "and you needn't worry about your engagement. I have no intention of separating you two."

"What are you talking about?" Bucky snatched his hand away. "You want her, don't you?"

"Of course I do. She's brilliant, and a beautiful woman at that," Loki's smile grew, his teeth sharp as fangs, "but Mr. Barnes, you are a beautiful man."

Two more Jotuns grabbed him, and even his enhanced reflexes couldn't save him. He struggled with all his strength, cursing Loki in every language he knew, but it was all for nothing. The King returned to his throne, his red eyes locked on Bucky. They were like the devil's eyes. Bucky felt sick. This battle was over long before it began; he and Jane were the spoils of war.

But at least they were together. At least they had that.


	16. King For A Day- Lokane

**16: Crossdressing- Lokane**

 _College AU: Jane loses a bet. Loki seizes his opportunity. It's a fun night for all._

The party was in full swing when Jane arrived, checking one more time that all her hair was under her beanie. Not cutting it was the one concession Darcy had made when laying down the ground rules for their bet. As long as Jane wore a suitably masculine hat to suit her masculine clothes, she was good.

When Darcy's team won, she immediately set out a pair of ripped blue jeans and one of Jane's dirtier plaid button ups. After the requisite remarks about the lack of variety or anything trendy in Jane's closet, the terms of her punishment were set.

"It's just for an hour," Darcy assured her on their way to the party. "We're gonna see if any girls ask you to dance."

"Darcy, I'm very obviously not a guy. I don't look like one. I don't sound like one. No one is going to buy it."

"Just wait until they've had a few drinks. You'll be the hottest guy in the room."

She used that tone reserved for debates with tone-deaf idiots. That 'no more arguments because I'm right and you're wrong' tone. Never before had she used it against Jane, and now she understood why nobody liked debating Darcy. Jane pouted the whole rest of the way as searchlights guided them to the club.

Nobody paid attention to her at first. She was a small, skinny woman among tall, muscular men. Jane adjusted her collar to hide her bra strap. She must've lost weight since starting college. This shirt used to fit her like a glove. At the bar, a young woman nursing a fruity cocktail eyed her. For a moment, Jane thought she might've caught one until she recognized the woman as a classmate she did a project with last month. She tapped her friend's shoulder, pointing in Jane's direction.

"Oh my god, do you know who that is?" Jane didn't hear the response.

"This is so humiliating," she mumbled, her head in her hands. That was the last time she ever bet on a football game. Why had she let Darcy talk her into it in the first place? She didn't even like sports!

"Hello handsome," said a very obviously male voice attempting to sound female.

Jane's jaw hit the floor. There, squeezed into a frilly green crop top, a hip-hugging pencil skirt, and five-inch stiletto heels, was her boyfriend. He wore full makeup, red lips and cheeks with green and gold wings over his eyes. He twirled a piece of his wig, black and styled like Jessica Rabbit, between two flawlessly manicured fingers.

"Wha…" was all Jane could think to say.

"Come on," Loki said in a sultry voice, "aren't you going to ask me to dance?"

It was more than Jane could handle. She collapsed in a fit of hysterics, laughing so hard her ribs hurt. Her eyes prickled with tears, but she couldn't stop. Loki tapped his foot. His heels were lavender with dark purple sequins. Even a fashion illiterate like her knew they didn't match a green top at all. If she had to guess, he just wanted her to laugh more.

"What- what are you doing- dressed like that?" She clung to his shoulders, dropping her head on his chest which he hadn't shaved.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I am but a young ingenue seeking a strong, handsome man to sweep me off my feet." He batted his fake eyelashes at her. "Would you know where I can find one good sir?"

"Stop, you're killing me." Jane's beanie fell off as she doubled over. Loki helpfully retrieved it and placed it over her pinned up hair. "Where'd you get those clothes?"

"I have my ways," he said cryptically. "As for why, I'm afraid I'm selfish, my love. I couldn't bear the thought of sharing you with anyone, male or female. So if tonight you must be a man, I shall be a woman."

"Loki, that doesn't make any sense."

"Your other option is to go flirt with your classmates and thereby give Darcy what she wants."

"...well, when you put it that way," Jane pulled Loki towards the dancefloor, and to the untrained eye, it might look like she actually had the strength to move him. "How about a dance for the beautiful lady?"

"Oh, you sexy man you!"


	17. Ghosts- BuckyJane

**17: Photographs- Bucky/Jane**

 _Jane never believed in conspiracy theories until the day one asked for some of her sandwich._

Jane was once in college, a wide-eyed freshman full of new ideas and enough energy to run ten marathons. She lived with a roommate who spent long hours at the club while Jane studied in peace. She dated a guy during the Spring semester, an environmental science major with an unofficial minor in Area 51 studies.

That's what Jane called it, much to the consternation of him and his friends. In their view, they were doing God's work, exposing Government secrets about who really killed JFK and how they faked the moon landing. Such jokes earned her glares and whispers about how she 'just didn't get it', but it would be years before Jane got her taste of being a laughingstock. For now, they were a source of entertainment amid the agony of mid-terms and gen eds.

"I'm telling you, it's all connected," said the sophomore in the striped blue shirt with a head too big for his body. He set five blown up photos before Jane and her boyfriend. "Two up and coming politicians are murdered within hours of each other, followed by a district attorney hunting down missing war criminals. Each time, this man appears for a split second in the nearby surveillance footage."

He pointed at a shadowy black blob that sort of looked like a person. If it was, they were in motion, possibly running to avoid getting shot next. The images themselves depicted gruesome murder scenes. Two men and one woman shot in the back of the head or through the eyes. Bystanders rushed to them, the beginnings of horror dawning over their faces. Jane could only stand to look for seconds at a time, and she made a note to never eat lunch with these guys again.

"Could just be a coincidence," she said innocently.

"Then how do you explain this?" He shoved the photos under her nose, pointing at a white spot on the blob/potential person. "He's wearing the same shirt each time. Black with one white sleeve. There's no way three different people wearing the exact same shirt showed up at three different assassinations occurring over a period of eighteen hours. It's just not possible."

"Maybe there was a sale at Macy's."

She laughed and nobody joined in. None of her boyfriend's friends wanted to talk to her after that, but it was fine. A week later, she found out he'd been cheating on her with a TA and that was the end of that.

Jane was now an award-winning scientist. College was a distant echo of the past. Her Ex hosted a radio show dedicated to proving Tony Stark was the thousand-year-old founder of the Illuminati (which was probably the most believable theory he ever spat out), and she was fresh off her most recent break up with a literal god of thunder. It was kind of an uptick from her last boyfriend. Going from conspiracy theorist, to doctor, to legendary Norse god/superhero left her with nowhere to go. Most guys were too intimidated to date her, either by her own accomplishments or her dating history. She wasted many a free night on the couch with a tub of Haagen Dazs.

That evening, she didn't feel like staying in. Darcy was out with Ian, leaving her nothing to do and no one to talk to. While Jane often preferred her solitude, tonight it was more suffocating than relaxing. Her stomach growled, demanding something high in calories and low in nutritional value. Something she knew her stomach would hate her for later. She compromised by going to Subway. The meatball sub was a meal fit for a king or one petite, skinny scientist who often toed the line between healthy and underweight.

It was a warm night with no wind, so she opted to eat outside. The bench was occupied by a man in a hoodie and a baseball cap. He wouldn't look at Jane, nodding once when she asked if she could sit. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. His legs crossed, his foot tapping.

Jane savored the first few bites of meaty goodness. Though she held her mother's cooking trumped all others, this was a decent substitute. She periodically glanced at the man; he never moved. The thought that he was dangerous had crossed her mind, but her gut told her it was safe. He kept his head down and didn't speak. He might've just been waiting for the bus. There was a stop two meters away.

She finished the first half of the sandwich and reached for the second. Though mostly full, she thought one or two more bites wouldn't hurt. She wrapped the rest of the sandwich up and looked around for the nearest garbage can.

"You done with that?"

The man stared at her sandwich, then at her face. Jane's heart missed a beat. He was scruffy but handsome. Like a movie star. In fact, the scruff kind of worked on him. Gave him a rough and tumble Bad Boy look. Jane blinked away her teenybopper thoughts as the remaining sandwich grew heavy in her hand. "Oh yeah. Here you go."

He smiled as he took it. Jane almost smiled back, but when he reached out, his sleeve slipped down his arm. The flash of silver caught her eye, and she was suddenly conscious of a strange whirring sound from under his jacket. It sounded like gears turning. Jane stared at him, trying to appear casual and failing miserably. His demeanor shifted from relaxed to tense. He still had his other hand pocketed and it appeared to be wrapped around something.

"Have- have I seen you before?" Jane asked.

"No," he said. Then he was gone. He disappeared into the shadows faster than Jane could keep up with. She waited, but he never came back. Were it not for her sauce-stained fingers and the receipt stuck to her shoe, she might think it was all just a dream.

She went home and googled crime scene photos from the murders of the two politicians and one district attorney. After all these years, she still remembered their names. The pictures were there, those same black blobs in the corner. She zoomed in on the white spots. They really did look like sleeves. Or maybe a whole arm. Or maybe just a smudge on the lens. Or maybe not.

She tuned into her Ex's show that night. He was running a special segment on cold cases and unsolved murders. She almost called in but hung up on the first ring.

Some questions were better left unanswered.


	18. Out of Ashes- BuckyJaneSteve

**18: Bucky/Jane/Steve- Character Death**

 _Someone is missing._

WARNING: Infinity War spoilers.

Steve pushed through the glass doors, his sweaty fingers tight around the handle leaving deep indents in the brass. His eyes were closed, a leftover instinct from childhood. If he couldn't see the woman searching every store for her children or the man holding a picture of his wife, maybe he wouldn't hear their screams either.

Inside, the lab was quiet. Too quiet. All the monitors were turned off and the computers powered down. Not that Jane's lab had ever been bustling, even post-fame, but the lack of noise hurt Steve's ears more than any explosion or barrage of gunfire ever had. In the corner of his eye, something moved. He whirled around, but it was not Jane in a ball on the couch. It was a young man, staring at a patch of gray dust on the light brown cushion next to him.

"She was right here," he whispered, his eyes puffy and bloodshot. "She was here. I saw her. She was here and now…"

"Ian," Steve said, bending over him, "Ian, where's Jane? Is Jane okay?"

Ian stared at his face without seeing it. Steve already knew that dust was not dust and he retched, thinking about what this poor kid had been going through the last day and a half. At least Steve knew what had happened.

"Jane is…" Ian blinked several times. "She's… here. I think. I don't…"

Steve patted his shoulder, the only meager reassurance he could offer. He went to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. Leaving it within Ian's reach he raced to the back room. He'd only ever seen it through a screen, cramped and messy because even with all her new funding, Jane was sentimental and couldn't let Puente Antiguo go. He threw open the door, and his withered heart rose the slightest bit when he saw her.

Jane was on her bed, phone in hand. It was on speaker. Why hadn't he heard it before?

'Hello, you've reached Erik Selvig. I'm not available to take your call. Please leave your name, number, and a detailed-'

She ended the call.

"He won't answer," Jane said, dropping the phone on the mattress. It sunk like a weight. "My mom won't either. And Darcy, she..."

Steve sat next to her, pulling her into his arms. He cradled her. She was so small; smaller than he remembered. She'd been skipping meals again. Lord, if he could see her now, Bucky would…

Bucky…

"Steve?" Jane said.

Steve seized up. "Don't- don't say my name like that. Not now."

She touched his cheek, soft and burning, but oh god, he needed it. He held her like he'd never let go, and he was fairly certain he wouldn't. Long distance relationships were tough enough when you were on the run from the government and there were three of you.

"Where's Bucky?"

She asked like she was afraid to hear the answer. Like she already knew what it would be and couldn't bear for Steve to confirm it. On the wall, taped across a bulletin board, were the photos taken from last Christmas, the first time all three of them had been together in person after months online.

There was Bucky kissing Jane under the mistletoe.

There was Steve in a Santa hat and beard.

There was Jane wearing reindeer antlers and decorating the tree.

There was all three of them in the laboratory basement Shuri had converted into an artificial ski resort.

There they were making snowmen. Bucky's was the best and he made sure to let them know. The smug bastard.

There they were on Christmas morning, opening gifts, eating chocolates, sharing a slightly difficult three-way hug.

Before they left, Steve promised Jane that one day, they would be together always. When the world was right again, and they could share their love without fear, they'd have Christmas every day. Just the three of them.

He held Jane, listening to her breathing, to Ian's crying, to the now much smaller small town's anguish, and never in his life felt so powerless.


	19. Exit Stage Left- SteveJane

**19: Musical- Steve/Jane**

 _Artistic License is a funny thing. Sometimes, it's more accurate than people know._

"Hey, Jane! Did you hear they're making a Captain America musical?"

"Nope, sure didn't," Jane muttered through a mouthful of screws. She secured the metal plate of the exoskeleton of her latest prototype. Tony had texted her ten minutes ago to let her know everything looked good on his end. Just a few more days and they'd be ready to begin preliminary testing.

"It's premiering in a month at the New Amsterdam theatre in Manhattan." Darcy flipped through the webpage. "Looks like a decent cast, too. Though this Evans guy they got playing Cap doesn't really look the part."

"Uh-huh."

"Oooh look! They're going to end the show with a big alien orgy right on stage."

"That's nice."

"I knew it. You're not even listening to me, are you?"

"Sure Darcy, in a minute."

Darcy tossed her phone on the table. It landed on top of an old hard drive and some wrenches. "Why do I bother telling you anything? It's like talking to a brick wall."

"Have you tried when I'm _not_ working?"

"So wait until you're asleep. Got it."

Jane rolled her eyes and went back to her prototype. Like a bad cold, if she ignored Darcy, eventually she'd go away. After checking her email, she typed in some new figures and left the computer to run while she grabbed a banana out of the fruit bowl and a fresh refill of coffee.

"I would advise you to pay extra careful attention to this musical," Darcy said with a mischievous smirk. "Seeing as you're in it."

Jane peeled the banana and took a bite. She chewed slowly while skimming the newspaper headlines. Then she choked. "What? I'm in what?"

"I mean, it's not exactly you. They changed all the names and some of the details. See for yourself."

Darcy handed Jane her phone, still open to the play's official website. According to the synopsis, this bold new play, the latest from legendary composer such and such and starring Whatshisface was a fictionalized account of Steve Rogers saving the world from the generic evil villain out to destroy freedom, truth, and the American way. Along the way, he'd find love with nuclear physicist June Forrester, the former flame of one of his fellow Avengers. They conveniently failed to mention which Avenger 'June' had dated.

"There are a few similarities I guess," Jane said, going back to her late night snack.

"We should totally go, though! See how much of your story they got right. Who knows? If they really butchered you, you might have grounds to sue."

"Darcy, come on. It's probably just a coincidence. Can you think of any reason why people would think Steve Rogers and I are a couple?"

"I didn't say anything about that," Darcy said. She eyed Jane a moment longer, but when that garnered no further reaction, she returned to her workstation and peace was restored.

The play received a standing ovation. Jane could hear it from all the way outside. It was a week since the premiere and the reviews were in: Captain America the Musical was a triumph! A gorgeous spectacle of fun, heart, and beautiful music! Perfect for the whole family! And other reviewerly things.

Jane had seen it herself two nights ago. Sat through both acts and even bought a shirt afterward. She could honestly say that it was… a musical. With music. The guy playing Steve wasn't much of a singer, but he was nice to look at. Almost as nice as the real thing.

A massive crowd exited the theatre. Scores of young woman gathered around the back entrance, waiting for the stars to come out. Jane smiled at them, but once the tall bearded man in the baseball cap appeared, nothing else mattered.

They met at the corner and crossed the street, getting a safe distance away before speaking.

"How was it?" Jane asked.

"Interesting," he said after over a minute of deliberation. "My shows were better."

Jane smiled. "I bet."

"June wasn't as smart as you." He held her hand. "Or as beautiful. Or as talented. Or as-"

"Okay, Steve. Laying it on a little thick there." She grinned anyway, and if she hadn't already decided he was getting lucky tonight, that would've been the clincher. "What I don't get is how they got the idea to make us a couple."

"I guess we weren't as careful as we thought."

"Maybe we should just come out with it. I know Darcy's getting suspicious."

"Yeah, so are Bucky and Sam." He squeezed her hand, which turned into a full hug. "I'd just rather keep you to myself for a little longer."

"Aren't you sweet?" Jane snuggled into his chest, "just don't expect me to break out into song any time soon."

Steve shuddered. "Trust me, I don't. I've heard you in the shower."

Jane swatted him playfully as they carried on into the night.


	20. Clean-Up On Aisle Two- LokiJaneBucky

**20: Chocolate- Loki/Jane/Bucky**

 _Jane asked Loki and Bucky to do one simple thing. She really should've known better._

"Just get Darcy's birthday cake and come right back. No detours."

"Of course."

"I mean it, Loki, don't even think about making a scene. Or you're on the couch for a week."

"Why am I always the one you assume will cause trouble?"

"Because you always do." Bucky snatched the phone out of Loki's hand. He had the worst habit of doing that and if Loki didn't love him so much, he might take offense. "Hey doll, don't worry about this idiot. I'm watching him."

"Yeah, but you know how slippery he can be," said Jane.

"Let him try. He won't slip by me."

They exchanged 'I Love Yous', and hung up. Loki gave Bucky a bored look. "You know, there's nothing I love more than being spoken of as if I'm not around."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bucky smirked. "Let's go get that cake."

They cut through the cookie aisle to reach the bakery. A pair of elderly women eyed them as they passed. Bucky smiled politely, making them giggle. He turned to say something to Loki, only for the taller man to drag him against the shelves of Chips Ahoy and Oreos. His lips locked on Bucky's, hot and insistent. Bucky momentarily lost himself and kissed back. As his eyes dropped, caught sight of the old ladies. They were red-faced and horrified, but the one wheeling the cart had her phone sticking out of her purse. He heard a distinct and rapid clicking sound.

Eventually, he got his wits about him and pushed Loki off. "The fuck are you doing?"

"Getting the cake," Loki said, strolling along like nothing had happened. "Why? What are you doing?"

"Thinking about pounding your face in. And no, I do not mean pounding something else so don't even say it."

Loki harrumphed. "You're no fun."

"Excuse me!"

It was an employee, one of the scandalized old women marching after him. She pointed at them, sputtering obscenities. Her friend stepped off to the side and stared intently at her phone screen.

"May we help you, good sir?" Loki asked.

The employee was half a head shorter than Bucky, so Loki towered over him. He didn't seem to recognize the former villain or the falsely accused political assassin from the news, so his bravado was almost convincing. "Sirs, you realize this is not a hotel, yes?"

Loki looked around, feigning confusion. "I suppose that explains why I haven't gotten my drink. I was just about to complain to the management."

"Well, you can complain somewhere else. Please leave."

"We will," said Loki, "as soon as we retrieve our order from your bakery, we will be on our way."

"I'm sorry, but you have to leave now. Before I call the police."

"Look, Sir, we're both very sorry," Bucky interjected, shooting a glare at Loki, "my boyfriend is a dumbass, but he doesn't mean any harm. May we please go get our cake."

"Yes, our girlfriend will not be pleased if we go home without it," said Loki.

The first old lady gasped. "You have a girlfriend too?"

"That is hot," the old lady with the phone whispered. Her friend stared at her. "I… mean that is against God! And I'm offended!"

The employee sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Get your cake and go."

"Thank you, my dear man," Loki said with a sweeping bow. "I'm so glad we were able to settle the matter maturely. Aren't you James?"

"It's Bucky, and there wouldn't be any matter to settle if you weren't set on being a professional shit stirrer. This is why we can't take you anywhere."

Loki shook his head. "I swear, I will never understand your people's aversion to public displays of affection. It was only a kiss."

"You had your tongue in my throat."

"Which you were thoroughly enjoying."

"You know what? Forget it. I'm done talking about this."

They approached the bakery and stood in line. The employee from before kept a close eye on them, making sure their conduct remained within reasonable boundaries. Loki reached for Bucky's hand, which he allowed him to take if only so the trickster wouldn't take things further.

He was counting out twenty-five dollars for the double chocolate cake when someone screamed.

"It's that man from New York!" A woman with a kid in her cart pointed at Loki. "He's here to kill us all!"

"Actually I'm here to buy a cake. Please don't shout at me."

The woman grabbed a can of peas out of her cart and lobbed it at Loki's head. It bounced off a magic shield, landing at her feet. Immediately, a large man appeared out of the nearest aisle. A vein bulged out of his neck as he spotted the can and the terrified woman.

"Hey! Did you throw that at my wife? I'll kill you!"

"And somehow, we're the ones who get in trouble," Loki muttered at Bucky. "It's not very fair, is it?"

Bucky rolled his eyes and knocked the enormous man out with one punch. The woman was now dialing 911, as was the employee. A crowd of shoppers gathered to watch the spectacle, as the woman stormed over to Loki and poked him in the chest, still shouting. Loki looked at Bucky and smiled. Bucky handed the baker an extra twenty dollar tip.

"Sorry for the mess," he said.

Several hours later, Jane picked them up at the police station. They were covered in chocolate frosting with chunks of cake in their hair.

"In our defense," Loki said on their way out, "we did get the cake."

"Yeah, you did," Jane muttered. "And now you're getting a night on the couch."


	21. Loki Breaks The Internet- Lokane

**21: Free Space (Glitter)- Lokane**

 _Loki knows the best way to deal with haters._

Loki didn't use the internet much. It was slow, primitive, and invested with foolish Midgardian 'intellectuals' talking about topics they knew next to nothing about. Unless he had decent images of himself to photoshop into vintage photography and post on conspiracy websites, why should he waste his time?

In fact, the only reason he found the Avengers fan forums was because Stark left them up on the overhead screen in the lounge one day, and the only reason he started clicking on topics was that he was bored. Nothing was ever fun when Jane was away at a conference. Normally, he'd go with her, but he was on a temporary ban since that little fiasco at her Princeton lecture.

(Loki asserted that one wasn't his fault and the Dean of Administration deserved a few bee stings anyway.)

With nothing better to do, he made an account and browsed a few subforums. Most were trite, uneducated theories about which Avengers were dating and which one was most likely to open up a coffee shop. One thread was nothing but two users discussing who Steve Rogers was in love with: Tony Stark or Bucky Barnes. Clearly, they'd missed all the pictures of Pepper Potts-Stark's baby bump circulating online. The argument had derailed into screaming obscenities and attacks on each other's character. How intelligent.

 _'Omg ur both wrong!'_ Loki typed, attaching a captured surveillance shot of Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson having a private moment in an elevator. If Loki remembered correctly, their romance was new and they'd been hoping to keep it a secret for the time being.

Oops.

He moved on to a thread about Avenger affiliates. Most of the posts were fairly ordinary. Quite a few threads were dedicated to Peggy Carter. Ever since SHIELD's databases were leaked, she'd become something of a hero for young girls. Sif would've loved her. A shame they never got to meet.

 _'How come nobody talks about Jane Foster?'_ one poster in a random thread asked. This immediately caught Loki's eye as he scrolled down to read the rest. _'She's super cool, isn't she? She needs more attention on here.'_

 _'Ikr,'_ said the next poster. _'My friend totally loves her. She's studying astronomy now because Jane inspired her.'_

 _'Aw that's awesome! I bet Jane would love to hear that.'_

Perhaps there was something to this forum thing after all. Loki moved on to the next post.

 _'No one talks about her because she's boring.'_ Loki's smile disappeared. _'She never did anything to help Thor. She just drooled over him a lot.'_

 _'Yeah, she's basically useless. Just because she's a scientist or whatever doesn't might her interesting. In a movie, she'd just be a two-dimensional love interest.'_

 _'Uh, she's already a two-dimensional love interest. Lol.'_

 _'Thor's better off with Sif or Valkyrie. You know, REAL women who can fight. Not weak bitches who do nothing but cry.'_

 _'Petition for Sif and Valkyrie to team up and beat Jane's ass!'_

 _'Lol I'll sign that!'_

 _'Me too!'_

 _'Jane Foster Sucks 2k18!'_

Loki counted seven users all posting their vitriol. Though Jane's fans defended her ardently, they would not be dissuaded. The debate ended with the moderator locking the thread and reminding all users of the anti-bullying rules. It was a paltry effort at best. Going through their post history, Loki found even more insults against his beloved.

This called for immediate action.

But what to do?

Killing them was, unfortunately, not an option. Jane would never approve even if it was in defense of her honor. He'd have to think of something else. Something that would express his ire just as well as a blade to the throat. Something big. Something devastating.

A fate worse than death.

He could think of only one thing, and oh, how deliciously evil it would be.

"Don't worry, my Jane," Loki said as he memorized all seven email addresses. "Vengeance shall be yours."

* * *

Jane returned the next day and found Loki in the lounge watching TV. "You know, I never took you for a couch potato type. I thought TV was beneath you."

"It has its charms," Loki said, pulling Jane into his arms. "Especially when the bulletins are so amusing."

He had the World News on and they were running a story about a bizarre phenomenon affecting at least five people within the Northern hemisphere. "We've been told that Tara Ayers and four other young men and women across the United States had their homes broken into last night and filled floor to ceiling with _glitter_. Just now, reports are coming in that one home in Scotland and one in Singapore have also been affected. Now we can't confirm these reports at the moment and police currently have no suspects-"

Jane turned to Loki. "What did you do?"

Loki grinned. "This is why I love you, my Jane. You know me so well."

"Why would you do this?"

"They deserved it."

 _"Why?"_

On screen, the reporter was now interviewing Miss Tara Ayers, whom, Loki noted with great satisfaction, was covered head to toe in glitter.

"I don't know how it happened," she sobbed. "I just opened my door and this- this tidal wave of glitter fell on me. It's everywhere! In my bed, and my closet. Even my refrigerator! It's just… glitter! I don't understand!"

Loki pointed. "That one goes by the dubious title of 'Thorki4ever' online. For that alone, she must pay, but she and her little friends will not get away with belittling and wishing harm upon you. I will not allow it."

"You're telling me you filled their houses with glitter because they bashed me online?"

"Yes. Was I not clear the first time?"

Jane rubbed her temples, but it didn't hide the ghost of a smile. "Where'd you even come up with glitter?"

"Darcy mentioned an online service once for sending glitter to someone you hate. I simply took the concept to its logical extreme." Loki pulled out his phone. "Come to think about it, I should make sure she's watching this."

He shot off a text as the newsfeed cut to one of the other glitter filled homes. Darcy responded after only a few seconds.

"'I'm watching it now and you are brilliant,'" Loki read. "'If you weren't already Jane's man candy, I'd do unspeakable things to you tonight. Tell Jane she should do unspeakable things to you tonight.' She said you should-"

"All right, all right." Giggles bubbled in Jane's throat, but she held it at bay for now. "I'm starving, so let's go to dinner. Then we can talk about tonight."

"You're not going to ask me to remove the glitter?"

"There's not enough magic in the universe to get rid of glitter," Jane nipped at Loki's neck. "Besides, you're a bad influence on me."

"A fact I take pride in." Loki leaned in for a kiss, which they enjoyed for all of two seconds before the door swung open, and in came Steve Rogers.

His face was red and his cheeks puffed out. He thrust forward a newspaper with a massive, blown up shot of him and Sam Wilson on the front page. "Okay, who put this picture online?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Captain Rogers, I would love to help you find the culprit," Loki waved his hand, "but I'm afraid he just left."

The couple disappeared, leaving nothing but the echo of Loki's laughter.


	22. You Make Me Feel So Young- BuckyJane

**22: Twilight- Bucky/Jane**

 _Age is just a number._

Bucky had been in the bathroom for twenty minutes, and if Jane wasn't on the verge of a painful death by exploding bladder, she might've been worried about him.

"Come on!" She punched the door. "What are you doing in there?"

"I'm primping. I have a hot date tonight."

"You most certainly do not. I'm going to count to three and if you don't open that door, I'll… I'll invent a death ray and break it down!"

"You're going to invent a death ray just to get me out of the bathroom?"

"Try me!"

The lock clicked and the knob turned. Instead of immediately getting out of her way like a good husband, Bucky blocking her path and stuck his head in her face. "Do you see any grays?"

"Do I _what?_ " She tried and failed to squeeze past him. "Move!"

"I will, but this is important. Do you see any grays?"

He parted a section of hair near his left ear. Jane glanced at it as fast as her increasingly urgent need to urinate would allow. There was nothing but dark brown. "No, you don't have grays."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you positive?"

"Yes!"

"Are you-"

"BUCKY I HAVE TO PEE!"

"All right!"

He moved, not quick enough for Jane who shoved him aside with an unexpected burst of strength. She slammed the door and sighed happily as she relieved the tension built from five cups of coffee and eight straight hours in front of a monitor. While washing her hands, her ears picked up movement outside the door. Either Bucky was waiting for her like an overgrown puppy or he was back to 'primping' in front of the hall mirror.

"Why are you looking for grays anyway?"

"I wasn't," he called back. "I thought I saw one earlier and I wanted to be sure."

"Did you want to find one?"

"No," he said unsurely. "Yes. Maybe… just nice not to be stuck anymore."

"Stuck huh?" Jane exited the bathroom. Bucky had his back to the mirror and his hair looked like a cat jumped in it. "Didn't know you felt that way."

Bucky shrugged. "I'm over a hundred. I should be dead by now."

"Not necessarily. The oldest living person in recorded history was one hundred and twenty-two. You'll probably beat that by a few years."

"If I'm lucky."

Jane wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling him. Of course, they'd known from the start that he wouldn't age normally. Super soldiers weren't immortal, but they were durable. Jane had long since accepted that she would go gray first, get wrinkles first, lose her mind to senility first. He'd watch them bury her and live at least another ten years before they committed him to the ground by her side.

Until then, she kissed his neck and got up on tiptoes to reach his lips. "You're going to be one hell of a silver fox someday."

Bucky smirked. "And you'll be the sexiest granny on the block."

"I'll have to beat the other little old ladies off with a cane."

"When those dirty old men stare at your ass, I'll have to shoot their balls off."

"Oh my god. _Really?_ "

He hugged her tight, leaving her no room for escape. "I love you, Janie."

"I love you, too, Bucky."

Forever and always.


	23. Fatherhood- BuckyJaneSteve

**23: Pregnancy- Bucky/Jane/Steve**

 _Being a first-time parent is never easy._

The doctor walked in and Bucky took Jane's hand. Logically, he knew the five and a half foot tall woman with the bob haircut and glasses on a chain wasn't a HYDRA plant (plus the background check he had Natasha run came back clear), but he couldn't help his nervous state. Not when Jane was eight months along and there was literally a full grown baby in her stomach right now.

 _Their_ full grown baby.

Possibly his. They'd know in another second.

"Okay," said the doctor while scribbling notes on her clipboard. "Now you don't want to know the sex of the baby."

"I do," said Steve, stepping forward.

"You can tell him, but Bucky and I would rather be surprised," Jane explained.

The doctor nodded and showed Steve the chart. She whispered something in his ear and he grinned. Over the last few months, he'd made it clear that he didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, so that grin could mean anything. Asshole would probably lord the knowledge over them for weeks.

"So aside from that, everything is looking good. The baby is healthy. Did you want to know the father?"

Bucky almost said no, but then Jane spoke. "Yes, please."

"You sure, doll?" Steve asked. Bucky didn't look, but he knew Jane's other hand was currently engulfed in one of his massive mitts. "We don't have to-"

"I want to," Jane said resolutely.

The doctor glanced at her before writing another note. She put down the clipboard and Bucky felt a split second of dread like a knife to the stomach. No matter what, they were all the baby's parents. Jane had made that clear from the start, but deep down, Bucky wanted this baby to be his. Just to know all his fears of HYDRA's torture and the lasting effects on his body were false. No amount of testing and reassurance that he was healthy could stop the intrusive thoughts. The fear that they'd missed something. That it would be all up to Steve give them the family they wanted.

Then the doctor looked at him and smiled. "Congratulations, Mr. Barnes. You're a daddy."

Bucky was frozen in place. He almost didn't register Jane or Steve planting long, wet kisses on him. The rest of the appointment was a blur. The doctor might've said something, or Jane might've said something. They could've had an in-depth conversation about global economics for all Bucky knew. All that matter to him was being a father.

 _He was a father._

They had lunch at McDonald's after. Not the healthiest choice for a pregnant woman, but Jane was craving for a McChicken and it was right across the street from the hospital anyway. Bucky polished off three cheeseburgers and a large fries before Steve went to order them all fudge sundaes.

"I hope the baby has your eyes," Jane said, scooting closer to him as much as her stomach would allow.

"I'm thinking the kid'll take after you in that department," Bucky said. "Blue eyes always skip a generation in my family."

"Besides," said Steve, returning with a new tray, "you've got the most beautiful brown eyes in the world. You know how often I get lost in them?"

"Tell me later. Right now, we're in public."

"Shame." Bucky kissed her cheek, moving down to jaw and just missing her neck before she pushed him away.

"So why did you want to know which of us is the father?" Steve asked. He was always blunt like that when it came to girls, which was probably how they ended up sharing. "Not that it matters to me either way."

"You're right, it doesn't matter," Jane said. "I wish there was a way I could fuse all of our DNA together, but the science isn't possible. Not for another... five years? Ten at the most."

"Wait, have you actually looked into this?"

 _"Anyway,_ I asked so that in a few years when we decide we're ready for another one, we can plan ahead." Jane wrapped herself around Steve's arm. "I want brunette babies and blonde babies. As many as we can manage."

Bucky snorted as he kissed her one more time. The sundaes were melting, but they couldn't have cared less. "I don't know what we'd do without you, doll."

"Neither do I," Jane said.


	24. Sleepaway- SteveJane

**24: Summer Camp- Steve/Jane  
**

 _No powers/pre-serum Steve AU: Steve's crappy summer job gets a little bit sweeter._

Someone stole Steve's clothes while he was showering. If he had to guess, it was Hodge. That fuckhead'd had it out for him since orientation. Why? God only knows. Maybe Hodge just hated anyone shorter than him.

With a towel tight around his waist, Steve tiptoed toward the exit. His bunk was twelves steps away and the campers wouldn't be back from the nature hike until two. If only his stupid asthma hadn't acted up this morning, forcing him to sit out. He could be collecting pine cones or sketching landscapes right now.

"Get a job as a camp counselor, they said," he grumbled to himself. "It'll be fun. You'll get exercise."

Next year he was going back to the grocery store. At least there he could keep track of his underwear.

He got to the cabin without trouble and found it empty. He dressed quickly and checked his phone. Quarter to two. That gave him fifteen minutes to do whatever he wanted and hopefully not run into Hodge or his cronies. He walked to the picnic tables by the lake with his sketchpad. It was a fair weather day with no excessive heat or wind. The water was smooth and a family of ducks swam by, quacking up a storm.

The table closest to the shoreline was occupied by a single person, her hair tied back in a bun and her head bent over a thick textbook. Steve smiled at her, his stomach somersaulting when she looked up and smiled back.

"Hi Steve," Jane said. "I thought you were with the kids."

"I thought _you_ were," Steve said, sitting next to her.

"Nah, it's my afternoon off. Just catching up on some reading." She patted her book, which appeared to be something science related. Steve read a line and his temples throbbed.

"Looks interesting." He tapped the pen on his sketchbook. He'd been thinking about drawing the oddly shaped rock formation on the far end of the lake, but then Jane ran her tongue around her lips to wet them, and he was suddenly distracted. "So uh… having a good time?"

Jane shrugged. "Not bad. I can see all the stars at night, but if I get one more mosquito bite, I'm buying a flamethrower."

"I'll chip in a few bucks."

They laughed and then fell silent. Shrieks of happy children could be heard through the trees, mimicking the birds. They'd be back soon, which meant Hodge would be back soon, which meant Steve would have to hold to his shirt. Literally.

"You okay?"

Steve glanced back at Jane. "Yeah, just Hodge being an asshole."

"Again?"

"He stole my clothes before the hike."

Jane rolled her eyes. "He's a dick, but don't worry. He'll get his."

"I hope so."

"No, really, he will," Jane said, barely containing a grin. "Last night, he groped Darcy at the bonfire. This morning, she got her revenge."

The children's voices grew louder, and then Hodge sprinted out of the bushes, cursing and holding his ass. He tripped over a fallen branch, landing flat on his face. The kids (and Darcy) laughed hysterically as he crawled the rest of the way to his bunk, his ass moving back and forth like he was twerking.

"Itching powder," Jane explained. "In his underwear drawer."

She waved at Darcy, who gave her a thumbs up. Steve shook his head. "Remind me to thank her later."

"You should do it yourself," Jane said, her hand inching toward his. "Sit with me tonight?"

Steve closed the distance, taking her hand in his. Nothing to bring out the boldness in him like Jane Foster's smile. "You bet I will."


	25. Triad- LokiJaneBucky

**25: Crush- Loki/Jane/Bucky**

 _Jane is torn between two men. The solution to her problem is like nothing she could've expected._

"I see the letter T around you. Someone in your life with a T name."

"Teresa! She's one of my cousins. Are you with her mom right now?"

"Yes! Her mother is very present with us."

"Oh my god." Darcy elbowed Jane, breaking her away from her phone. "She's so good. Didn't I tell you getting a psychic reading was a good idea?"

"Oh yeah, Darcy. Great." Jane sent out a text to Tony. 'Get me out of here!'

"Now!" The 'psychic' said, pointing one distressingly long fingernail at Jane. "Onto your future!"

She was an older woman, not yet wrinkled, but that might've been all the makeup. Her lips were cherry red, her eyes lined with blues and purples. She wore a headscarf and a floor length robe. On her table was a crystal ball, tarot cards, and an assortment of pendulums. It was like she'd taken the most cartoonish aspects of TV psychics and pumped them full of steroids.

"Thank you, but I'm fine," Jane said, as politely as she could. "I'm just here to-"

"You are here for Madame Emerald's wisdom! Do not shy away from the future, Jane Foster!"

Did she have to talk like that? All in exclamation points? What purpose did it serve when anyone who wasn't Darcy had to realize this was all for show. Before she could refuse, Madame Emerald grabbed her hand. She was shockingly strong for someone so frail looking.

"Yes… yes! Your future is clear to Madame Emerald! You will become famous around the world for your scientific innovations!"

Technically, Jane was already famous. Unless Madame Emerald here didn't put stock in Nobel prizes.

"You will earn great prestige and… ah, yes. Love is in your future."

"This is so exciting," Darcy gushed, snatching Jane's phone out of her lap and taking a picture. "Jane's first psychic reading!"

"Give me that," Jane grabbed the phone. There was a text from Tony. 'LMAO' was all it said. Some help he was…

"You will find true love, Jane Foster! In fact, you've already met the one who will have your heart… but what's this? Two men in your future. Two you have feelings for. Two who will love you as you love them."

Darcy's eyes bugged out. "No way, dude. She knows you're hot for Barnes and Loki."

"She doesn't know anything," Jane 'whispered' back. She pulled her hand away and gathered her things. "Thank you for your time, Madame Opal-"

"Emerald."

"Right, but we really should be going."

She dragged Darcy up and out the door. Madame Emerald clasped her hands on the table, looking forward at the artificial fog in her crystal ball. "You shouldn't doubt your fate, Jane Foster."

"I don't believe in fate."

A serene smile. "You will."

Strange as it was, Jane was not about to give this woman any more of her precious time. That was already thirty bucks she'd never see again.

"What's with you?" Darcy grumbled as they walked back to the car. "Weren't you having fun?"

"Darcy, that woman was a total fraud," Jane said. "You can't honestly tell me you believe that crap?"

"I don't know, Jane. She figured you out pretty quick."

"She didn't say anything you can't find on my Wikipedia page."

"What about your crush?" Darcy needled. "She knew about that didn't she?"

"The only thing people like her know is how to scam people." Jane started the engine. "Now let's go get some food. I'm starving."

"Okay. No need to be defensive."

"I'm not being defensive."

They argued their points as the car pulled away from the curb and down a busy intersection. They never noticed Madame Emerald at the window, her eyes following them long after they'd disappeared from sight. She rubbed her fingers together, power swirling around her.

This was going to be fun.

Jane knew something was wrong the moment she woke up. Her cot was too soft; the hum of machinery omnipresent in her lab was absent; sunlight shined in her face from a window that shouldn't be there.

And then someone moved.

She opened her eyes and a hand slapped her on the face. It came with a muscular arm attached to a shirtless man she could just make out through the gaps between his fingers. His blue eyes slowly opened, drowsy with sleep as he registered Jane's presence. Her breath on his skin. They stared at each other.

Jane screamed.

Then Bucky screamed.

Then Loki appeared out a side door leading into a bathroom.

"Could both of you please lower your voices. I can't hear myself think."

He was also shirtless, his pants low slung which caught Jane's eye far more quickly than it should've given the situation. She sprang out of bed, relieved to find herself in a pair of shorts and a tank top.

"What the fuck is this?" Bucky shouted, grabbing Loki by the shoulders. "What did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did anything? I'm just as confused as you."

"Yeah, bullshit. I know it's you. It's always you. Where the hell are we?"

Loki clicked his tongue. His body turned transparent and Bucky stumbled through him. The double disappeared as the real(?) Loki appeared out another door. This one led into a hallway Jane had never seen before.

"A better question, my friends," Loki said, "is when are we."

"What are you talking about?" Jane demanded. The two men looked at her and she realized this was the first time she'd spoken since they woke up.

She couldn't help her silence though. Not this time. Not when Madame Emerald's fingers with their claw-like nails and many rings reached for her in her mind's eye. Her final words rang in Jane's ears.

'You shouldn't doubt your fate.'

Was this her fate?

Someone cleared their throat, giving them all pause. In the doorway was a boy, at least twelve years old. He was on the tall side, though clearly not done growing. A mop of dark brown hair covered his eyes. A new emotion sprung through Jane, one she never knew she had. The second she saw him, she knew several things instinctively. He needed a haircut, he needed to do his homework, and he needed to brush his teeth before leaving the house.

"Are you guys having sex?" he asked. "Because if you're having sex with the door open, I'll have no choice but to see a therapist."

His voice cracked as a boy's often does when he's on the verge of puberty. Jane looked at Bucky. They were both thinking the same thing. This kid would be the spitting image of him once he'd grown up.

Loki smiled and nudged Bucky. "Well? Do you have nothing to say to your son?"

"My son," Bucky repeated. He shook his head hard and rubbed his eyes. "Uh… yeah. My son. Morning, son!"

"Morning Dad…" the boy said, eyeing Bucky suspiciously.

Fortunately, Loki was in a merciful mood and saw fit to end the torment. "Jacob, why don't you go get some breakfast? Your mother and father and I need to talk alone."

"Fine, but I'm shutting the door. The walls are soundproof for a reason."

As soon as he was gone, Loki was once more lifted off the floor with metal fingers around his neck.

"What the fuck is this?" Bucky seethed. "Who the fuck is that kid?"

"Bucky, stop it. That's not helping anything," Jane said, struggling to pry his hand off.

"Yes, it is! It's making me feel better."

Loki vanished from Bucky's grasp and reappeared next to him, no worse for the wear. "As invigorating as your rage can be, James, we do need to discuss what is happening here."

A couch appeared out of nowhere. Invisible hands gently pushed Jane and Bucky down. Loki sat leisurely with his long legs crossed and his head back. In any other circumstances, this relaxed posture combined with partial nudity would have Jane's heart racing. Right now… well, it was his damn fault for being so sexy.

"Okay," Jane said, hiding her face until it cooled down, "let's think logically for a second. We all went to bed in different places last night, and we woke up here. I'm guessing Loki was up first."

"Yes, I had the pleasure of meeting your son shortly before the two of you joined us," Loki said. "Though I suppose I should say 'our' son since it appears we have entered a point in time where the three of us are in a full polyamorous relationship."

"You know, I was with you guys for a second," Bucky said, looking nauseous, "and then you had to spring that on me."

Loki feigned offense. "I'm sorry, am I not attractive enough for you?"

"No, you're too you for me. This has got to be a dream…"

Jane took Bucky's hand. It felt warm and strong. She'd always loved his hands. "We can't go freaking out right now. We have to figure out how this happened."

"Jane is correct as always," Loki winked at her. "Did either of you experience anything strange yesterday? Anything that might explain how we came to be in this predicament?"

"I was training with Steve all day and then we got pizza. That's it." Bucky grumbled.

"I was working in the lab after breakfast," Jane said, "then Darcy and I went shopping, then we got lunch, then she wanted to go see this psychic woman and then we went home."

"What is a psychic?" Loki asked.

Jane bit her lip. She'd half hoped he'd miss that part if she buried it in the middle of typical Midgardian monotony. The kind he always scoffed at because 'blah blah blah royalty blah.' "It's nothing. Some people think they have the power to see the future, but they're all fakes. They just want to make a quick buck."

"Still, if this psychic of your has real magic," Loki said thoughtfully.

"Darcy took a picture of her with my phone if…" Jane felt for his pockets, but of course, she didn't have any.

"Never mind that," Loki said, leaning over until he was level with her.

He looked deep into her eyes. Too deep. Like he was seeing beyond the brown irises into what lay beneath. Into her very soul. Jane felt the push of tiny hands against her skull. They slid through without issue, and while they didn't dig so deep as to unlock her every hidden desire, she was under no illusions that they couldn't.

Neither was Bucky, as the next thing Jane knew, she was in his arms and he was glaring at Loki. "What are you doing to her?"

"My apologies," Loki said. "I was merely gathering information about this psychic."

"You saw her?" Jane murmured. "In my head?"

"It's one of my many abilities," Loki explained, folding his arms. "And yes, I did. The woman you met yesterday was no Midgardian and she certainly is no mere fortune teller. She's a sorceress. Her name is Amora, and I've had dealings with her in the past."

"So this Amora woman is the one who did this?"

"More than likely," said Loki, pacing around the room. "She loves to meddle, and unfortunately, it will take some time before I can break her spell and send us all home. At least a week."

"And until then, we have to live here," Bucky said, staring at the closed door. "With my son…"

Loki grinned like he'd just been handed a toy. "It does sound exciting, doesn't it?"

They dressed slowly, finding their closet to be five times larger on the inside than it appeared on the outside. Jane selected a green blouse (there was a lot of green in here) and blue jeans. After a quick trip to the restroom, they filed out of the bedroom and followed the path to the kitchen.

Jacob was at the table with a bowl of cereal. "Morning. I see you're all finished with your sexcapades."

"Now, son, that is not an appropriate topic for discussion," said Loki.

"Sure thing, Pop."

Loki nudged Bucky. "Do you have nothing to say to your boy?"

"Knock it off," Bucky hissed, "I'm still processing all this. Most guys have nine months to get ready for parenthood, you know."

"Even so, I thought you'd be pleased to meet your progeny," Loki said innocently. "Why if I was meeting my child for the first time, I'd know precisely how to behave."

"Good moooooorniiiiing!"

A teenage girl skipped down the hall on the opposite end of the house. Her billowing black hair hung loosely over her shoulders, her green eyes filled with girlish glee. She hugged Loki tight, seeming to float more than walk.

"Ah-" Loki said. The look on his face made Jane wish she'd tried harder to find her phone.

At the table, Jacob rolled his eyes. "The princess graces us with her presence at last."

The girl let go of Loki and marched across the kitchen. She leaned over Jacob as he calmly spooned cereal into his mouth. "Is that the last of the Cheerios?"

"No," said Jacob, bringing the nearly empty bowl to his lips, "but it's about to be."

"I told you to leave the Cheerios for me, you little dweeb."

"Yeah, must've missed that memo." Jacob grabbed another box and placed it in front of her. "Don't worry. I did save you the raisin bran. You look like you need it anyway."

The purple box suddenly transformed into a snake, which slithered around Jacob's arm up to his shoulder. He shrieked and threw it across the room. It hit the wall and changed back into a cereal box before hitting the floor.

"No fair!" He shouted at the girl. "You know the rules. No magic at breakfast."

"Oh sorry, must've missed the memo." She grabbed an energy bar out of the pantry and walked back to her dumbstruck parents. "I need to stay late after school today to help Morgan get ready for the bake sale. Is that okay?"

Jane blinked a few times. The girl's face reminded her of her high school yearbook photo, but infinitely prettier. She reached for a name, coming up with the one she'd picked long ago for any daughter she might have. "Yeah, that's fine… Christina?"

The girl stared at her for a moment. No reaction beyond that except to hug her. "I'll see you later, Mom." She let go, then kissed Bucky and Loki on the cheek. "Bye Papa. Bye Daddy. See you guys tonight!"

She rushed outside and seconds later, Jane heard a car engine start. Jacob finished his breakfast and left the bowl in the sink, giving them one last odd look and muttering to himself about how weird adults were. Now alone in this house that was and wasn't theirs, the three of them could only look at each other. Bucky didn't even have it in him to return Loki's taunting.

"This is going to be really hard," Jane said.

And to that, neither Loki nor Bucky could object.


End file.
